STUPID MISTAKES SMART SINGLES MAKE. AND I’M NOT MAKING THESE UP
By Andrea McGinty, Exclusive Article for Covey Club
While the singles I work with are incredibly intelligent, I’ve learned, over time, that they don’t know that certain words, phrases and photos should never be part of their online profile! In many cases blunders like these will actually reduce your chances of success. Here, my list of no-no opening lines from real online dating profiles!
1. “I can’t believe I’m doing online dating.”
Well, you are, along with millions of others in the US. This line serves absolutely no purpose in a profile and can also result in other singles reading it and rolling their eyes because they think, “well, I am! What’s wrong with this?” Bottom line, saying you’re new at this does not make you look cool or like a catch — just arrogant.
2. “I want someone with no emotional baggage” or “I want someone who is emotionally available.” My first thought is that you must have been dating losers: why else would you have to note that you want someone who is emotionally ready?! It also makes me think you’ve dated many high-maintenance people. Could you be high maintenance too? My second thought is that you might be an unrealistic self-help junkie. By the time we hit our forties and fifties, everyone has had relationships and life experience….and carries some kind of emotional baggage.
3. “NASCAR to Opera. Burgers to Foie Gras.” This is meant to sound clever and nonjudgmental but it reads as “I am desperate and malleable — I can be anything you want me to be…or I can readily slip into the Royal Family”.
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4. “I’m an Aries and tend to be attracted to Virgo men…..” Ok, if your life is astrology and you write a national astrological column for mainstream media, sure, go for it. Otherwise, skip your sign. It’s meaningless to most people.
5. “I’m attractive, funny and nice.”
Ugh. Who isn’t? This is too bland. Too vanilla. These adjectives say nothing interesting or memorable or stop-able about you. This will be a left swipe. A more captivating opening would be “I’m told I laugh like Sandra Bullock, am as sweet as the tiramisu I’m known for baking, and treat each date as I’d want my daughter to be treated on a date.” Now that’s fun, unusual….and not generic.
6. “I’m 54…but all my friends say I look 38.” You are 54! Does denying your age exude confidence in yourself? Nope. This will be read as insecurity. Let the singles who view your profile make their own decisions about how great you look for your age.
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7. “Impress me.” Huh? Yes, I had a 56-year-old male author insist this was a wonderful opening line. Then I asked him why he called me.
8. “I’m low maintenance.” Ruh-roh. Red flags are waving like crazy here. Why was this an opening salvo? Over 25 years of coaching people with their online dating, I have found that this kind of statement generally signals the exact opposite — they are actually high maintenance — but trying to downplay it. My advice? Run. Delete. X out.
9. “I don’t own a TV.” Ohhhhh-k. That’s your opening? Because you are too smart for a TV? You watch everything on YouTube? Or you only read Kafka and The Canterbury Tales with your beyond Mensa IQ? Identifying yourself by what you don’t like can be off-putting, and doesn’t tell potential dates anything about what you do like, or might have in common.
10.“My family and friends are really important to me.”
Hopefully, this is a given!
11.“Deleting soon.” Well, where are you going? I’m guessing this was meant to create a sense of urgency — like a sale at Saks — but instead it makes me wonder if you’re in the 99-cent bin and heading to a discount store because you haven’t been chosen. I read this opener as a singleton burnt out on online dating.
Andrea McGinty founded the iconic It’s Just Lunch dating service in 1991 — before internet dating! She then founded 33000Dates.com when she realized, again, the help singles needed navigating online dating. In the 2020’s, she is more than ever convinced the best way to meet people is through online dating, using a professional coach/consultant. So many intelligent singles need help writing their dating profiles….and she does much more!
Andrea thinks she has the best job in the world and specializes in upscale singles in their thirties to seventies! This article was published this week in Covey Club.
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