Boring first dates.....
Wait, are you boring?
If you just said yes to both of the above, yep, you’re a little bit boring---maybe a lot!
Signs you are boring:
1. Pick the same old places for first dates
2. Regurgitating the same stories---oh 50-year-old guy, how long did it take you to work in the conversation the pent--ultimate moment of your life ---Law Review at Harvard?
3. Your dates go the same way, oh how long were you married, how many kids, amicable or acrimonious?
4. Then, OMG, you ask him/her on a second date. Just what exactly is your threshold for boredom---uh-hum, maybe threshold for pain and desperation is a better description.
Wake up everybody. Yep, we may live with Covid. But that’s a lame excuse for living a hazy, lazy life of ok dates. No wonder so many people want to give up on dating online---it’s you.
I am a top-notch dating counselor/dating coach with over 25 years’ experience (I love my clients and what I do---but I have to say this)) and I’m weary of what I hear from some singles out there---Yes, here at 33000Dates.com, we coach hundreds of clients each month and I’d say the majority of my clients are positive; though many did not come in with a positive attitude about dating thanks to friends, zoom depression, and watching horrific breaking news stories all day WFH---wow, that would break Thor…. or even Jack Bauer.
Do one thing every day that scares you. (Eleanor Roosevelt) Believe me, you won’t be boring!
Where are we going here? I’m going to toss in my two cents! Ok, maybe not every day, but how about at least every week?
Yes, this translates to dating. Let me give you an example, a true one recently. My client, Aria, a successful 44-year-old-female-surgeon said to her date (they were grabbing coffee for a first date): “This is fun and I definitely want to see you for a second date---but how about something fun? I get wined and dined by pharm companies all the time and the last thing that excites me is another lobster/steak restaurant”. Her date, a 54-year-old business type loved her honesty.
So, what did they do for their second date? At her suggestion, two hours at the Archery Center. She’d never shot a bow in her life….and his last time was at summer camp at Big Bear. May I mention Aria is still dating him?
Ok, so here’s some ideas for non-boring, sitting on your butt second dates:
1. Farmer’s Market (the plus, you get to eat and sample while on your feet---plus seeing you dates interpersonal skills as they interact with vendors, right?)
2. Axe Throwing---yes, it’s a thing and it is fun! These have sprung up all over the country and I’ve had couples in their 20’s to 70’s try this. It does promise laughter. And no boring conversation after.
3. Pickleball---America’s fastest growing sport with a spot now in the 2028 Olympics. And guess what? Unlike tennis or golf, no experience needed though it’s a much better idea to grab 2 other people to play it with you as doubles are where the action is.
4. Escape Room—what a fun second date! Hmm, you will definitely see your dates analytical skills come out here as you puzzle this out together.
5. Trivia Night at a Pub---way, way easier than Jeopardy and you all will laugh at the answers your date or you throw out.
6. 30 Mile Bike Ride---hey, those electric bikes are everywhere.
7. Skeet Shooting---from Palm Beach, Newport RI to Portland, this is a “thing” now and the skeets are environmentally friendly
8. Museums are no longer your grandma’s museums! Experiential. One couple just went to the Boca Raton Museum of Art for Date #2 and soared over Machu Picchu in a special museum exhibit….and now are contemplating a trek there together.
Try something new each day?
Well, I’ve got one for you for today.
Hire a dating coach to speed up the process dramatically. Bet you’ve never done that!
Here's one for tomorrow: Hire a dating coach to write your dating profile.
Life, Love and Laughter,