Remember that old adage---“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”? Never truer than with online dating---As a dating coach/dating counselor for over 25 years, here’s tips from the singles whom I’ve seen succeed.
1. Sign up for a paid membership to a minimum of two dating sites/apps.
After all, when you filled out your college applications, you didn’t bet it all on Stanford or Harvard, right? You had safety schools! When you invested money, you diversified---you didn’t eput it all in Apple or 5G, right?
2. Work on your social skills (maybe they got rusty after 2 years of Covid?). A wise woman, ok, it’s my mom told me to always make sure I went to lunch at least once a week with girlfriends, new friends, old friends, all ages friends. I am the queen of meeting someone new at yoga and immediately saying “want to grab a quick coffee”? Almost everyone says yes…and it gets you out of your same old friend rut. Plus, this keeps you sharp…and on top of pop culture and new topics. One of my girlfriends turned me onto “How I Built This with Guy Raz”. When I was dating, I can’t count the number of men that I discussed this Podcast with! If the date liked Guy, I liked my date (lol).
3. Accept every invitation outside the realm of online dating. A good friend invited me to her daughter’s high-level tennis tournament a few years ago---I sat next to very witty man who became my boyfriend for a year. Who knew? And, we still keep in touch because I fixed him up with Antonia, a dear friend of mine and we now do couple things!
4. Volunteer for fun stuff---like a golf tournament or the NFL Draft. My client Mitchell, 58 met Sarah, 59, while helping with the US Open---and guess what? They discovered they were both on Bumble currently and neither had seen each other.
5. Walk your dog at the same time each day. Or take her to the beach at the same time each day. This increases the odds that you’ll encounter other dog lovers repeatedly and we all know how easy it is to strike up a conversation with fellow furry friends. Yesterday I was walking Luna down Atlantic Blvd in Delray Beach (it was awesome as the street was closed for the St Patrick’s Day parade) and bumped into a few people I’ve seen before who were stopping for acai bowls and asked me to join them. Yes, I did---not because I’m looking for a boyfriend right now (Tim, just in case you’re reading this!) but that I’m new to the area and I enjoy meeting new people.
6. The one above goes for everything: running, surfing, driving range, gym---go at the same time each day. If you’re batting zero after a month or two, go at a different time.
7. Take a look at your area’s meet-ups. Trivia night, Pub crawls, Hikes---there’s no reason to sit at home!
While I can offer you many tips with online dating, and coach you through the entire process until you meet someone you really like----it can get exhausting scrolling through Bumble or Hinge so give yourself a break and try some new ways to meet people.
As a wise woman told me “Old friends are important as you share so much history…but new friends are important because it keeps you young, sharp and expands your horizons”. Thanks, Mom---you raised 6 kids but still kept up many friendships and constantly tried new things. (Probably why she beat my dad consistently at golf).
Life, Love & Laughter,
Andrea & Luna