So, you want to start online dating and have never done it before? Or maybe you’ve tried online dating in the past without success and want to try it again with a fresh start?
So, how to start? Most people just jump on a site and start…
…but that is exactly the worst thing you can do. You don’t buy a new house or start a new business without thinking about why you are doing those things first or without having someone help you……and this is your personal life!
So before even going onto any online dating site, the first thing to do is to spend some time thinking about what you are trying to get out of dating…..and really be honest with yourself. Put another way, pretend you are writing in your diary, or talking with a therapist or dating coach, how would you answer this question (in other words, don’t just give the answer that you give to your co-workers or family)?
· Do you want to get re-married?
Is it more important to get re-married to only the right person, or do you want to get married to someone good, but you feel there’s more than just “one” person who would be a good spouse?
· Are you really happy with your life and would love companionship but don’t want to get remarried?
· Are you lonely and need companionship, whether that’s for the night, a few weeks/months, or longer?
Second, what type of person will fulfill what you are looking for?
· What are the 3 most important attributes?
· Are looks the most important? Important but other things are more important? Not that big of deal?
· What about education, religion, occupation, etc.?
How you answer these questions will likely affect what you post about yourself online, and how you communicate with potential dates. Of course, you could just post the same boring (and often untrue) thing that tens of millions of people post…….and you will likely get the same (boring and untrue) responses…….
None of these answer to these two questions is “right or wrong.” And if you are honest with yourself before you post anything online it will make online dating that much more fun (and successful).
Finally, please don’t figure out the answers to these questions by discussing with your friends or family. Only you can answer these questions. Or you and your online dating profile coach.