There’s been much chatter this week about online dating ---from the Wall Street Journal to Huff Post. Well, with over 40 million American singes using online dating, it makes sense. The Wall Street Journal reported that online dating has increased by 26% in the past 3 months. Ahhh, your potential for great dates is increasing daily!
Me, I talk about dating every day, 365 days a years---from coaching my clients to my teenage kids calling from school with various dating questions (and their roommate and suitemates dating questions.) At least in one area as a mom, they listen!
So, is your Online Dating Life’s cup half full or half empty? As a dating consultant, on my initial zoom call with a client, I can almost immediately see where their dating adventure is going to head. It comes down to three simple factors:
Sense of Adventure
It is a Numbers Game
Let’s start with 57% of singles have had a positive experience with online dating. Did you just see that?? No, I didn’t make it up---it’s Pew Research. Now, when you read that did you immediately think in your head, oh but for 43% it sucks? There we go, that’s called attitude. A positive attitude will get you so far with online dating---This week I had two more engagements. And both had great attitudes.
Congratulations to John in San Diego who got engaged after he told me there were no good women out there! John, a 55-year-old CFO came to me 9 months ago after a 21-year marriage----on his 11th date, he met Lauren. BOOM! She is widowed with 3 teens, and they Zoomed me Wednesday, bubbling over with their wedding plans. (I think I will be invited!!)
Celina hired me during Covid too. She was a tough New Yorker---as she acknowledged with a list of "Must Haves". I convinced her via profile writing and coaching that my 50/50 rule works. And it did! Celina, a 38-year-old ER nurse, is now engaged to Tim, an architect she met on the site I recommended. And she did not even want to meet him initially!!! (So, yes, initially she had an attitude problem that we quickly corrected----once I reminded her that she was paying me good money to coach her, she jumped into the half full cup).
Sense of Adventure:
Will, a 45-year-old Boston attorney, had just one request for me. Draft a profile so no female attorneys would answer. He had so many hysterical stories from friends setting him up on dates, that I knew we were going to have fun working together!
On our weekly coaching calls, we discussed his dates: a wig maker to the stars, a bowling ball CEO, a botanist, a hospice nurse, a Cirque de Soleil performer to his now steady girlfriend, Carolina, who owns a sailing school. (He had never sailed!). I truly looked forward to my weekly calls with Will as there was much laughter---he told me he had wished he met some of these women before law school as he may have changed his profession)!
It’s a Numbers Game:
Oh, you bet! Very rarely does the “magic” happen on Date 1 or 2 or 3. The client I alluded to earlier, John, went on eleven dates before meeting someone he liked. Margot, a Dallas client met Bryan on her 27th date! (She was a dating adventurer---she dove into online dating with a smile and had a minimum of three dates per week!)
I really want you all to meet someone and while it is a numbers game, over 60% of my clients are now dating someone they like. One client at a time I got to over 4500 marriages in my 20+ year career.
And while I did not put confidence on my list of three key factors to successful online dating, you very well may already have this. If you do not, I will get you there by the time you have been on 5-6 dates!
Warmly, Andrea McGinty