When I talk about how it’s not easy to write a Profile about yourself, I think of my client Joanne who started with me last summer. She was not getting the quality of responses nor quantity and couldn’t understand why not.
She wanted to send me her Profile and analyze what was not working---I told her no. I’d formulate my own ideas about her based on our Zoom Call and the Client Profile Form she had filled out. Then I’d write her Dating Profile, choose the right site/app and review all her photos, etc. My normal thing.
(Of course, we veered a bit off course, as she was insistent about sending her current Profile which was not attracting the type of men she wanted and it showed up in my email box seconds after concluding our Zoom Call----though I purposely did not read it until I had gone through my process above!)
A little about Joanne---55 years old, pretty, life coach in great shape, lots of personality and very direct!
Here is a tiny bit about what she’d posted (I couldn’t bring myself to share the rest with you!!!) prior to working with me on Match:
She began with: I am looking for a man in great shape, healthy, no facial hair. Must work out and look great. No issues or emotional baggage. No children at home. No complaining. No negativity….
Wow, I bet you can spot the issues here!
So, what do you think? I saw the problems immediately. If you were a man, would you continue reading this? If you were a woman reading this from a man, what would you do?
I’ll tell you what I’d do as your dating coach---I’d tell you to stop reading and hit the Delete/Block button asap!
I had liked Joanne immediately over the Zoom Call, but when I read this…. all I saw was negativity. And expressed as in what she did NOT want versus the positives.
Ok, the great thing about each birthday we have, we are one year older and wiser. Yes, we know what we do NOT want. But isn’t the flip side that we do know what want?
The ironic thing was that Joanne was so positive on the Zoom call---and this just goes back to my 25 years of dating experience and once again, noting that most people have no idea how to write about themselves---basically, you are marketing YOU and this is difficult for most people. (People who follow me---think of my story about my author client of NYT bestsellers…and what he wrote about himself! We still laugh over this together---yes, he sends me books for free now—a nice perk!).
So, how about something like this instead, getting back to Joanne?
………. In my professional life, I’m an entrepreneur in the wellness business---I like helping my clients live healthier and more active lifestyles. So, what am I looking for? I’m usually up for anything outdoors, and a man who likes hiking, is clean cut and athletic, enjoys adventure travel (Hiking Whistler or Mount Rainier and making our own fires in a mountain cabin, anyone?) A positive outlook even with a storm on the mountain and laughing through the rain…….
That’s just a slice of her profile. Didn’t we get the same points across that Joanne originally conveyed via her original profile? And we didn’t say no facial hair or that he MUST work out, right?
So, what happened to Joanne? She is in a serious relationship now and she credits a professional profile. She was in shock at the number of responses and the quality men she met.
For me, I love happy ending and cherish my clients. I’m always excited for our weekly calls to hear how your dates went.
Last weekend was awesome when a new client told me his 2nd date lasted 8 hours—no, that’s not why! They met at Navy Pier in Chicago for lunch, ended up walking all around the Loop for hours chatting, then ended up on Rush Street for dinner. Can’t wait to see how Ryan’s date this weekend went!
Love & Laughter,