HI VS AI!
- Andrea McGinty
- 7 hours ago
- 6 min read
Because AI has never fallen in love
The future of dating isn't AI versus humans. It's AI plus humans—if you know where each belongs.
I think there's my position is quite a but different from everyone else. Almost everyone in my industry is screaming, "AI is terrible!" or "AI is replacing matchmakers!"
My take?
"I've embraced AI. I just refuse to let it replace humanity."
That's a much stronger argument because I’ve had front row seats at the last 35 years of dating----yes, since 1991. I’ve been through so many technological revolutions in dating already.
I’ve lived through:
Newspaper personals
Video dating
Telephone dating
eHarmony
Smartphones
Tinder
Bumble
Hinge
COVID virtual dating
And now AI
Almost nobody writing about AI in dating has actually lived through every one of those revolutions. I have and it’s fascinating.
AI Isn't Coming for the Dating Industry.
It Already Arrived.
And honestly?
I'm glad it did.
Every week I see another article proclaiming:
"AI will replace dating coaches."
"AI will replace matchmakers."
"Soon no one will need human relationship experts anymore."
I've been hearing versions of that prediction for over 30 years. Personal Ads. Video Dating.R
They said it when Match.com launched.
They said it when eHarmony arrived.
They said it when Tinder changed everything.
They said it when Bumble let women make the first move.
Now they're saying it about AI.
Here's what I've learned after watching more than 33,000 first dates. 10,000+ Dates.
Opening It’s Just Lunch in 1990 and sharing my business plan and people saying that’ll never work. (Lesson: Don’t share a business plan like that with married friends and family).
Technology changes.
Human nature barely does.
Stay till the end for a special gift….at the bottom!
AI Has a Brain.
Humans Have a Heart.
Artificial intelligence is extraordinary.
It processes information faster than any human ever could.
It can summarize thousands of articles in seconds.
It can identify patterns.
Organize data.
Compare options.
Generate ideas.
And over the next five years?
Dating apps will almost certainly become dramatically smarter because of AI.
That's exciting.
But...
No algorithm has ever comforted someone after heartbreak.
No chatbot has ever looked across the table and quietly said,
"You're choosing emotionally unavailable people again."
No software has ever noticed the hesitation in someone's voice when they say,
"I'm fine."
That's human intelligence.
And there's a difference.
AI Thinks.
People Feel.
Dating has never been an information problem.
It's been an emotional one.
People don't stay single because they don't have enough data.
They stay single because...
They choose the same person over and over.
They ignore red flags.
They mistake chemistry for compatibility.
They let fear make decisions.
No search engine fixes that.
So Do I Use AI?
Absolutely.
Every single day.
But probably not the way you think.
I don't ask AI to become me.
I ask it to become my editor.
If I'm writing an article and one sentence feels clunky...
I'll ask AI for three different ways to say it.
If I'm writing a client's profile and one paragraph isn't flowing...
I'll ask for suggestions.
One sentence.
Maybe two.
Then I rewrite it in my own voice.
AI sharpens my thinking.
It doesn't replace it.
Where AI Gets Dating Wrong
The biggest mistake I see?
People letting AI write their entire dating profile.
I can usually spot it in ten-20 seconds.
Suddenly everyone's "passionate about life's adventures."
Everyone "embraces meaningful connections."
Everyone "finds joy in authentic conversations."
Or,,,
Nobody actually talks like that.
Your dating profile isn't supposed to sound impressive.
It's supposed to sound like you.
Because eventually...
The real you has to show up anyway.
The Bigger Problem Nobody's Talking About
Today there are more than 1,400 dating apps and dating sites.
AI isn't going to reduce that.
It's going to multiply it.
More tools.
More choices.
More recommendations.
More filtering.
More confusion.
Ironically...
The smarter technology becomes...
The more valuable human guidance becomes.
Not less.
The Future Isn't AI.
It Isn't Human Intelligence.
It's Both.
Use AI for research.
Use AI for editing.
Use AI for organization.
Use AI to save time.
But don't outsource your personality.
Don't outsource your judgment.
And don't outsource your humanity.
Because the qualities that make someone fall in love with you...
Curiosity.
Humor.
Kindness.
Vulnerability.
Empathy.
Presence.
Those aren't software updates.
They're human ones.
After three decades and more than 33,000 first dates, here's what I know:
The future of dating won't belong to the people who reject AI.
And it won't belong to the people who let AI do all their thinking.
It will belong to the people who know exactly where technology ends...
And where being wonderfully, imperfectly human begins.
AI Isn't Coming for the Dating Industry.
It Already Arrived.
And honestly?
I'm glad it did.
Every week I see another article proclaiming:
"AI will replace dating coaches."
"AI will replace matchmakers."
"Soon no one will need human relationship experts anymore."
I've been hearing versions of that prediction for over 30 years.
They said it when Match.com launched.
They said it when eHarmony arrived.
They said it when Tinder changed everything.
They said it when Bumble let women make the first move.
Now they're saying it about AI.
Here's what I've learned after watching more than 33,000 first dates.
Technology changes.
Human nature barely does.
AI Has a Brain.
Humans Have a Heart.
Artificial intelligence is extraordinary.
It processes information faster than any human ever could.
It can summarize thousands of articles in seconds.
It can identify patterns.
Organize data.
Compare options.
Generate ideas.
And over the next five years?
Dating apps will almost certainly become dramatically smarter because of AI.
That's exciting.
But...
No algorithm has ever comforted someone after heartbreak.
No chatbot has ever looked across the table and quietly said,
"You're choosing emotionally unavailable people again."
No software has ever noticed the hesitation in someone's voice when they say,
"I'm fine."
That's human intelligence.
And there's a difference.
AI Thinks.
People Feel.
Dating has never been an information problem.
It's been an emotional one.
People don't stay single because they don't have enough data.
They stay single because...
They choose the same person over and over.
They ignore red flags.
They mistake chemistry for compatibility.
They let fear make decisions.
No search engine fixes that.
So Do I Use AI?
Absolutely.
Every single day.
But probably not the way you think.
I don't ask AI to become me.
I ask it to become my editor.
If I'm writing an article and one sentence feels clunky...
I'll ask AI for three different ways to say it.
If I'm writing a client's profile and one paragraph isn't flowing...
I'll ask for suggestions.
One sentence.
Maybe two.
Then I rewrite it in my own voice.
AI sharpens my thinking.
It doesn't replace it.
The Bigger Problem Nobody's Talking About
Today there are more than 1,400 dating apps and dating sites.
AI isn't going to reduce that.
It's going to multiply it.
More tools.
More choices.
More recommendations.
More filtering.
More confusion.
Ironically...
The smarter technology becomes...
The more valuable human guidance becomes.
Not less.
The Future Isn't AI.
It Isn't Human Intelligence.
It's Both.
Use AI for research.
Use AI for editing.
Use AI for organization.
Use AI to save time.
But don't outsource your personality.
Don't outsource your judgment.
And don't outsource your humanity.
Because the qualities that make someone fall in love with you...
Curiosity.
Humor.
Kindness.
Vulnerability.
Empathy.
Presence.
Those aren't software updates.
They're human ones.
After three decades and more than 33,000 first dates, here's what I know:
The future of dating won't belong to the people who reject AI.
And it won't belong to the people who let AI do all their thinking.
It will belong to the people who know exactly where technology ends...
And where being wonderfully, imperfectly human begins.
I actually can take a pretty good guess.
The biggest tell isn't that the writing is too good—it's when the language becomes a little more generic and polished than
the rest of your voice.
My two guesses would be:
"The future of dating won't belong to the people who reject AI. And it won't belong to the people who let AI do all their thinking."
Why? It's a classic AI "balanced contrast" construction ("not X... not Y... but Z"). It's effective, but it's a pattern AI uses frequently.
"It will belong to the people who know exactly where technology ends... And where being wonderfully, imperfectly human begins."
Why? "Wonderfully, imperfectly human" is elegant, but it's not quite your natural voice. You tend to be more direct and a little punchier.
The winners won't be the people who fight AI. And they won't be the people who let AI think for them. They'll be the people who know when to use technology—and when to trust their own instincts.
That's me, a little less poetic and a lot more like someone who's spent 30 years sitting across the table from real clients.
There are exactly Three AI-assisted sentences hidden in this article.
Can you find them?
Email andrea@33000Dates.com with the subject line "I Know the 3 AI Sentences."Pick the right three, and I'll send you a complimentary copy of my bestselling book, 2nd Acts: 166 Winning Strategies for Dating Over 50. Amazon Prime usually gets it to you in about two days.
5 Winners!
Happy hunting!
XX, Andrea McGinty Dating Strategist, Matchmaker, Coach, Author, Speaking and TV Dating Expert 30+ Yrs EXP | 10,000 + Marriages | Guest on Oprah, Today, CNN, Bloomberg, People and more Founder, It's Just Lunch 1991
Founder, 33000Dates.com 2005
Comments