Hey, guys, I told you that you weren’t off the hook! Earlier this week I published Men’s Top 5 Dating Complaints---and many of you commented to me via phone and email. Thanks for your feedback!
The below Top 5 Complaints by Women answered in a poll by yours truly, your dating consultant/counselor. 836 women ages 38-67 participated and here we go:
1. Misrepresented Height
While the average American man is 5’9”, it seems this is quite stretched by 2-3 inches on average. Thus, if a man proclaims he is:
5’8 online, chances are 5’6 5’9, chances are 5’7-5’8
5”10, maybe 5”10 with a higher likelihood of 5’8-5’9 let’s skip ahead: 6’1, high probability he is over 6’0
6’2” +…. yes, you can believe this one
Looking for a tall man? The US ranks 40th in height in the world with the Netherlands topping out the group at over 6’0. Who doesn’t like tulips and canals?
2. Dating Profile Has Been Online for Years And it’s not been updated! Perhaps he put it up at age 51, allowed it to auto-renew (we know the apps/sites jump right on that money wagon) and now he’s 55---not only has his appearance changed, but his career and of course age too. I’m amazed at the number of male clients I have as a dating coach when they come to me and say “Oh, yes, I’ve had a Hinge, Bumble, Match account forever---I never even look at it anymore and I forgot the password”.
3. Does Not Get Responses to Her Messages Well, it could be #2 above---he’s not even looking anymore! Ok, but here there is no way I’m blaming the guys 100%. Ladies, could it be you? The art and science of crafting engaging responses is tantamount to a good online experience and in-real-life-dates. An abrupt “Hi, how are you” shows absolutely no personal interest in this man---just as a 4-paragraph response from you has the man’s head spinning and he barely makes it to the end of paragraph 1. That’s why as a dating consultant we spend an hour a week together sending effective messages that work---and make that man you have your eye on smile and reach back to you! More......
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4. Love Bombing (means showering you with intense attention initially) Ohhh-k. I know I wrote about this several weeks ago but it is more prevalent with men and it’s annoying and a bit scary for women. Real life example this week? Laura, a client in Greenwich, Ct went out 3 weeks ago with a great guy, had a blast---then he began texting her 5-6x a day. His first ask? Would you like to go to Turks and Caicos with me next week? She said, wow, that’s too soon. A few days later, he inquired if she’d like to join him on a trip to Portugal. She said please slow down. He has. So, we shall see what happens with Laura on her weekly updates with me. In the interim, yes, she is going on other first and second dates as well.
5. Ghosting Means, poof gone! As my client Mark in Houston said to me yesterday “My sister’s doing online dating in Dallas and she’s never met a ghost until eHarmony”. So, guys, you have a date, don’t feel the chemistry, there is no need to ghost. A simple text “It was a pleasure meeting you but I’ve just started dating again and I’d like to pursue some other options. I wish you the best”. Absolutely appropriate, well-mannered and closure for both sides.
Comments? Questions? Stories to tell? Topics you’d like me to cover? You know I’d love to hear! Leave them in the comments section or email me at andrea@33000Dates.com
Happy dating this weekend!
Life Love & Laughter,
Andrea McGinty Dating Coach and Dating Consultant since 1991 https://www.33000Dates.com 702-494-7344