Hi Friends! While I write for both women and men--- the hundreds of blogs, articles, podcasts, and two-minute-dating videos can attest to this, today I am focusing on how to read the signals that he is falling for you.
Pretty basic, you think, right? But you wouldn’t believe the number of women (ok, and men) I talk to weekly as part of my online dating coaching that say “Hey, Andrea, what do you think? Does he like me?”
And, quite often this is after the 3rd, 5th, 10th date with the same person! As I always ask, how do you feel about him? If the answer is that you have strong feelings, then let’s move on with the male signs:
1. He makes you a priority Now, he doesn’t just say this. It’s all about actions. He may have a busy schedule (as you do!), but he always comes through for you. He wants to spend time with you. You are the first personal slot he fills. You matter---a lot and you can feel it, daily.
2. He starts planning a future Now, I’m not talking about a ring or a wedding after 6 dates. Little things are beginning to come up---What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Are you interested in going to an alumni function with him in November?
3. He wants to meet your friends One of your closest friends is in town next weekend and you ask him if he’d like to join you for dinner. No hesitation. A prompt, of course I would!
4. He wants you to meet his friends and family Ok, this is a total general rule and also depends on logistics and geographics--- By date 5, you have at least met one of his “people”. Perhaps it’s going to a Trivia Night with his friends or going to listen to music with another couple. He wants you to know you fit into his life---plus, wow, can you learn so much about this man who may be falling in love with you (and you, him) by the quality of his friends!
5. He’s vulnerable and shares with you Alright-tttty! Aren’t we always on our best behavior the first few dates? But real life is not perfect. He’s had a tough week at work---and instead of all smiles and extravagant plans for that evening, he may suggest a night in with takeout and a movie. He tells you he’s exhausted but still wants you near him. That’s vulnerability---and it’s real.
6. He amazes you with a thoughtful gift For no reason. It may be a card. It may be a bunch of tulips. As I’m writing this---and I know I share quite a bit about myself---But I’ll never forget a third date a year ago with someone I really liked---After the movie, he gave me a little box with a pretty Cape Cod bracelet inside that he brought back from his trip the previous days. It told me he was thinking of me---and I rarely take this gift off my wrist!
7. He communicates What do I tell my clients ad nauseam? Three things are essential for a long-term relationship: Chemistry, communication and common values. Studies have told us for years that men and women communicate differently---one is not right, one is not wrong. We need to talk about things and overcome any misunderstandings. And, you can’t hold it in for months. In a strong relationship, he will communicate in real-time ---and you need to do the same.
8. He compliments you And, it is sincere. Think about how good you feel when he tells you turquoise is a beautiful color on you. Or how he loves your smile. Or a short text in the middle of the day when he says he can’t wait to see you that night. This works both ways---make sure you tell him what you find wonderful or amazing about him.
We are so lucky to live in this day and age. So many opportunities to meet people via online dating and other venues. Yes, some people may be negative about AI, internet dating and complain constantly that they wish they could just meet organically.
Such the wrong attitude. If you are a cup is half full kind of person, love is right around the corner. I believe this. I talk to people every day----and yes, I’m thinking of one male client who is probably reading this and in August wanted to give up---of course I talked Don out of it (it’s my job!) and here he is today going on his 7th date with Nancy.
Have a lovely weekend---and if you need help with the optimism and where to begin, you know who to call.
Andrea McGinty Dating Coach, Dating Counselor and Relationship Expert Founder, 33000Dates.com Founder, It’s Just Lunch Matchmaking Service (founded in 1991 and sold) 702-494-7344 (I’m on the East Coast) firstname.lastname@example.org
I love writing your dating profile, navigating all aspects of online dating for you, vetting your photos, choosing the right online dating app/site for you, and coaching you on messaging online to meet the right people in real life! And still love it after 25+ years.