Updated: Jan 21
Let's learn how to choose a dating coach/expert!
As you navigate the tribulations (and trials) of online dating, let’s make it as easy and fun for you as possible!
Since you’re most likely here to meet someone you really like, let’s give it your best using a professional. Too often, we tend to ask friends and family for dating advice, but are they pros? Asking a cousin (who is a lawyer) a quick legal question makes sense, right? But once you go down the path of asking friends – oh, watch out! It will run the gamut from, I met my husband in college, so I have no idea to listening to horrific dating stories. So, let’s skip the hysterics and get to some fun and adventure in the dating world.
A couple things to remember: 1 in 3 Singles met their significant other last year online. 1 in 4 singles in 2019 married via online dating.
So, let’s get to the 9 Tips:
Here’s some basic questions to ask before you hire someone to help you navigate online dating. Yes, there are some fantastic resources out in the dating kingdom, but you need to pick the right one!
What’s their background to make them a dating expert/coach?
It’s the number one question for a reason! It’s someone who has had thousands of dating clients in their career, found successful relationships for them, had marriages and has a fantastic reputation. It’s generally a passion for this person – not some get rich quick scheme
And, it’s not someone who met their wife online and is now an expert. Considering 1 in 4 marriages that occurred in 2019 met online . . . well, there you go. Look for someone who has at least 10-15 years of experience in the dating arena, success stories, and strong testimonials from both the media and clients.
How long have they been in business? Can they guarantee success?
Great question to ask! Again, go back to at least 10+ years of experience with singles and dating – not their own dating experiences – clients! And, if they guarantee success – RUN! And be careful to define success. Success should be writing a fantastic dating profile that you are happy with, vetting your photos, choosing the right dating sites for you to begin on, going on good dates due to your profile, photos and site, and weekly coaching for the first few months.
Who are their clients?
This matters, and here’s why. Coaches tend to have their niche groups – it may be Jewish
men in their 50s, it may be Christian widows. A 38-year-old single woman looking for a relationship probably won’t have success with an expert whose primary clients are divorced/widowed in their 50’s and 60’s. In this example,this person will need different writing styles for their profile, much different dating sites, and coaching from someone who can relate to you. So, ask the question on who they specifically work with.
Do they have a phone number they answer and talk with you?
If they don’t, it’s basically a ghost writer or someone doing this as a part-time job. This is a signal of here today, gone tomorrow. Skip these.
What exactly, in quantitative terms, will they do for you?
Costs run from low-end services beginning at $50-$200 to high-end, ultra-coaching that can run up to $25,000+. Professional dating experts generally will have set prices clearly spelled out on their website. If they do not, it’s just a marketing ploy to get you to call, then begin negotiations with you. Not fun!
Also, don’t be blown away by a salesperson’s promises. They know dating can be very emotional and often take advantage of this. Look carefully at their website, make certain the program is laid out with exactly what you are getting and time parameters. Costs associated with each program should also be clear and there should be no added costs.
Are revisions of your online dating profile included for no cost?
Absolutely, they should be! And revisions of your online dating profile should be turned around fast – as in 24-48 hours. As the client, you need to be 100% satisfied – not just satisfied, but ecstatic with your online profile. This is you – and you are not about banal, trite phrases and just walks on the beach, right?
Will they vet your photos before you post online?
Some do, some don’t. It is an exceptionally good idea to have someone look over your photos. A great profile can be sunk by bad photos. On the other hand, a good profile can be turned into a great profile with a fantastic variety of photos.
Will they recommend the correct sites for you?
It truly runs the gamut here from chaotic dating advice (go on every dating site/dating app and best of luck) to beginning with one specific dating site. If the recommendation is that they start all clients with the same site, perhaps it’s time to talk to another dating expert.
What’s their success rate?
Ask and find out how they determine this. It may be how happy the client is with the dating profile that is written for them. It may be if their client met someone they really like. Ask how they measure success.
A great dating coach will help, encourage, and make tweaks to your dating site profiles when needed. And remember, if you come to dating with a super positive attitude, a smile, ready for a new adventure – it’s going to be a success!
Andrea McGinty is America’s Premier Dating Expert, featured on Oprah, Forbes, WSJ, The Today Show, Entertainment Tonight and many others! She is the founder of 33000Dates.com and ItsJustLunch.com with over 25 years’ experience.
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