Bored with dating? Or just…boring?
- Andrea McGinty, Dating Expert
- Oct 3
- 4 min read
Seriously—no offense. But I’m online all day helping people find “the one”…and is everyone stuck in a rut? You wonder why no one messages back, or why the quality feels low? Boredom is the brain craving novelty.
And here’s the truth: I’ve eliminated all the other excuses. Over 30 years. 33,000+ dates set up (both matchmaking and online). Yes, really. I’ve studied this from every angle. And when things fall flat?
Nine times out of ten, it’s not “the apps,” it’s you.
Hey, we teach our kids they’re responsible for their actions—same rules apply here.
“Quality, sense of humor, pickleball, concerts” … sure, they sound fine, but online? They mean nothing. If you’ve read my book (not trying to sell it here, not even naming it), you know I take a long look at success vs. failure—why some people end up in my 66%+ club of meeting “the one”…and others don’t.
I could go on about positivity, curiosity (this one’s crucial to a great life), or trot out the psychobabble some so-called “dating thought leaders” peddle. Ugh. I shudder. Then I go my own way.
Enough.
If you’re boring, let’s fix it. Here are 10 ways to ramp yourself up in 15–30 minutes a day. You’ll feel better about yourself, you’ll have more to say, and you’ll become the interesting, lifelong learner people want to know.
1. Blinkist Your Brain
Fifteen minutes, one book. That’s it. You’ll discover wild things (and great date conversation starters).
Confession: I’m a fiction nut—3 books a week. Call me Ishmael. Who is John Galt? It was the best of times. My Kindle is practically my best friend. (Yes, if the house was on fire, it’s in the top three things I’d grab.)
But no one wants to hear me go on forever about Lisbeth Salander, so I give myself a daily Blinkist dose with my omega-3 fish oils. It feeds me. I look up words, references, and follow rabbit holes. Way better than scrolling Insta.
Latest pick: Elephants on Acid—absurd, hilarious scientific experiments. Trust me, that’ll light up a date conversation.
2. Boredom Is Contagious
If your stories are about work emails, Amazon returns, and your neighbor’s recycling bin, no wonder you’re not getting responses. Boredom breeds boredom. Just like negativity.
3. Think You Can Sing, Dance, or Play Iris on the Bagpipes? Find Out.
My daughter Dagny (junior, double major in Theater and Econ) called me 3 weeks ago:
“Mom, can I get an extra $60 a week for voice lessons?”
Her plan? DM Jaz Robinson (Catherine of Aragon in Six on the West End). Jaz said yes. Now Dagny takes Zoom lessons and will train in person with her this summer in London.
The point? Stop thinking about the thing you’ve always wanted to do. Just do it
. (Yes, I said yes to the $60.) 🎶
4. Random Wikipedia Roulette
Click “Random Article” three times. Spend 20 minutes going down the rabbit hole (Armenian stamps? Icelandic sagas?). You’ll come back with conversational lightning bolts nobody expects.
5. Ever Tried TM?
I’m a huge fan of Transcendental Meditation. No, it’s not a cult. Yes, it’s scientifically studied. As the oldest of six, my mom made us all sit quietly twice a day while my dad meditated—20 minutes in the morning, 20 at night.
If you’ve got anxiety or worry (don’t we all), TM rewires your brain waves. It takes 5 days to learn, and yes, it’s worth it. Look up the thought leaders way smarter than me who swear by it.
6. Change What’s in Your AirPods
Cardio = music.
But when I lift weights, it’s podcasts. My latest obsession: Arthur Brooks. At the end of each podcast, he says, “I love hearing from my audience.” So I wrote him.
Three days later, he replied—with four thoughtful paragraphs, relating it back to me. I was floored. No wonder the man teaches happiness—he made my week. (Adrenaline option: Guy Raz.)
7. Get Tactile
Pick a spice you’ve never used (sumac, za’atar, tamarind) and cook a 15-minute dish with it. When my hands are busy, my brain stops spiraling—about my football picks, my client Alyssa’s date, or whether I can actually hike the Camino de Santiago. Doing something tactile is grounding, zen, and very sexy in its own way.
8. Laugh. A Lot.
Go see a comedian you’ve never heard of. Last week I saw Nate Bargatze live, and I can’t even describe how I felt afterward—lighter, reset, alive. One absurd joke or even a silly word like “skipidi” rewires your brain. Laughter is nature’s free happy pill.
9. Visit a Pinball Museum (Yes, Really)
My dad took me (and Dagny) to one in Vegas recently. We played machines from the 1800s to now. Pure fun.
And here’s the kicker: Jeff and Jamie, two of the most fun (and successful) people I know, turned their garage into an arcade. Space Invaders, pinball, the works. It’s how they decompress, and let’s just say a party at their house is never boring.
Add that to your dating profile: “Ask me about my trip to the Pinball Museum.”
10. Stop Swiping, Start Living
Yes, I want you dating. But happy, interest-filled people make happy daters. And happy daters meet other happy daters. Then you know what happens. ❤️
xx,Andrea
Andrea McGinty
Founder, 33000Dates.com | Founder, It’s Just Lunch (sold it)
Dating Expert (well, that’s what Oprah said when I was on her show—and I’m honored 😊)
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