If you’re Googling love advice, brace yourself: it’s often like taking directions from someone who’s never left their driveway.
Case in point: Yesterday, my client Trina came back to me after declaring eternal devotion to a guy she met a few months ago. As her dating coach, was I shocked when it didn’t work out? Nope.
Why? Because Trina’s enthusiasm for him sounded like a robot reading a grocery list:
He calls when he says he will (cool).
His family is nice (yay).
He’s generous (gold star).
All great traits! But where was the sparkle? The “OMG I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-him” energy? Spoiler alert: there wasn’t any.
Trina told me from Day One: “Andrea, he’s great—but I’m just not attracted to him.”Girl, that’s called a friend.
Dating Equation Alert 🚨
No Chemistry + Nice Person = Friendship
She tried to convince herself: “I can live without chemistry and attraction.” I told her: Can you? Should you? And is that fair to him, since he’s clearly into you?
Meanwhile, she’s out here Googling: “How to know you are in love.”If you’re asking Google that question, I think deep down, you already know the answer.
Oh, and then there’s Mike. Sweet Mike. He Googled:“She’s always on my mind. Is this normal?”No, Mike. That’s not love; that’s infatuation.
Real love doesn’t hijack your brain 24/7. Real love is like a comfy couch—it fits. It’s calm, not chaos.
Google Gems That Make Me Cringe
“She’s the person of my dreams.”
Are we talking healthy love or a Disney prince-level obsession? Real talk: I adore my husband, but if I told him I wanted him around all the time, he’d probably pack me a snack and send me to yoga.
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“You’ll do whatever it takes to impress them.”
Yikes. Love isn’t about being a contestant on America’s Got Talent.
“He’s the best part of my day.”
This one’s tricky.
If you’re already happy and your partner adds to that? 👏 Fantastic.
If your partner is the sole reason you smile? 🚩 Fix your life first.
A Better Google Query
Instead of “How to know you’re in love,” try: “How to love.”
Why? Because love isn’t about knowing. It’s about doing. It’s showing up, being present, and growing together—without needing Google to validate your feelings.
Drop the infatuation, the fear, and the rom-com clichés. Love’s not a perfect equation, but at least it’s more than a search result.
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