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Men's Perspective on Online Dating




Sarah and Michael (my client) got married last weekend!


Good morning, friends and clients! So, I had two interesting blasts from the past year of clients whom I know had been dating---but no clue with the outcome.


And, short and sweet before I launch into their stories with real photos and texts--let's summarize what we all wonder about sometimes:

  1. Why the heck doesn't he have more info on his profile?

  2. Oh Oh, he's just been divorced for 2 months after a 27 year marriage. No way do I want to be the transition girl friend. (Oh, really.....read on and hear it from the man's perspective!).

  3. Men: Are there really quality women online? Aren't they all married?

  4. And how about the men who don't reach out to a woman as they think she's out of their league?

All-righty---Michael came to me about 16 months ago. New York City. ER Doc. Married for 27 years to his Medical School girlfriend. One son. Just divorced. Mountain Climber---and I mean serious. Overwhelmed by online dating and not sure where to start.


I remember like it was yesterday---he didn't want to date at the hospital and be a part of the rumor mill. As he told me, "I'm putting it all in your hands and I'll do whatever you say". Oh my gosh, my ideal client!!! His first few dates were memorable---especially one that went to a third date and we laughed so hard on the phone, but I must keep my blogs PG rated. Then there was Sarah. He really liked her. She was reserved. He was dogged in his pursuit. Sarah wanted to go slow so Michael did. He "mirrored" her....and it worked. Around January this year he sent a photo proposing on a Swiss glacier. And my heart skipped a beat.


Then came this text, along with the top photo. (Yes, permission to use granted by all in this blog).

This was Wednesday, September 21, 2023. And do I have a great job? I am thankful everyday that I get to do what I do.

 

Next up to bat---who says you're too old to find love? I'm a broken record when I constantly says it all comes down to attitude. Ally, I worked with about 10 months ago---a vibrant, direct and witty 68-year old lady from the Boston area and a transplant to Florida. Ally always struck me as so much younger---her point of view, interests, her contagious laugh....and sometimes what she'd text men.


Once while we were on a coaching call and I was looking at her responses to 3 men. They all said this "Oh, yes, I am interested but can you please wait two weeks for a date? I have a bit of a queue" Again, I just cracked up as I've been doing this for over 25 years and never saw anyone write something like this! And guess what? All 3 men said sure. Attitude, right, but done in a gracious manner.



Rick and Ally at Fenway Then, out of the blue this week, I received the following text:


Andrea – here is my first message to Rick and his response. The rest is history. Ally

Rick, I've looked at your profile a couple of times, keep hoping there will be more info to go with the nice photo. We share a love of honesty and a sense of humor, a Massachusetts background, and apparently a love of Italy. I like concerts, museums, history and can speak knowledgeably about a few sports - which makes me a gem among women. What do you think of coffee and conversation soon? Warmly, Ally

Hello Ally, Thanks for reaching out! I am new to Match (hence the incomplete profile LOL), but I have tried a couple of other sites and I must say your message is truly the nicest introduction chat I have ever received. You have an amazing smile & great eyes that brighten your whole face! I vacationed in Palm Beach for many years before buying my condo 4 years ago with the idea of being a "snowbird". After "working from home" in Palm Beach during Covid, I changed my mind, sold my place in MA, retired and moved here full-time last Jan. I have 2 grown children & 6 grandchildren. In addition to your great smile & eyes, we do have some similar interests (except for the gym LOL). My brother is coming down on Tuesday - Saturday, and I am going to visit my best friend next week in Cali. I would love to continue to chat and possibly meet this weekend? Rick

Ally wrote me:

On our first date, Chuck told me he had seen my profile but hadn’t reached out to me because he thought I was too cute for him. When I introduced him to my best friend on the phone recently, she thanked him for taking good care of “her girl.” His instantaneous response: “It’s my pleasure, but she’s my girl now.”


And, she also shared the following on Wednesday this week:



 

Once again, is my profession fun or what? I'm so happy with these two stories this week! Yes, I get these updates all the time from clients, and I want us all to be slow to judge anyone.


  1. Rick didn't have a full profile yet. Many women would have skipped him. Ally had a nice way of asking him "where's more info", right?

  2. Oh, my dear clients who want to give up after 4-5 dates, please don't. He/She is out there. I have too much evidence in 25 years of online profile management and online dating coaching.

  3. Ally had a great attitude----now, that is certainly not saying we didn't hit some lows around dates 9, 10, 11. But that's what I'm for---a cheerleader and dating counselor to keep your spirits up and keep you in the game.

  4. She needn't climb mountains and peaks. What's it all come down to: Chemistry, Common Values and Communication. All else is negotiable!

Contemplating online dating? What is stopping you? There is NEVER a perfect time in your life to date!! What have you got to lose? Book a 15 minute call with me tomorrow and see if I can help.


Have a lovely weekend, all.

Warmly,



Andrea McGinty Founder, It's Just Lunch (sold) Founder, 33000Dates.com

Dating coach, Dating strategist and Relationship Counselor

702-494-7344






1 Comment

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Guest
Sep 23, 2023
Rated 4 out of 5 stars.

The caveat--- there must be a decent pool of quality individuals to date in your location, otherwise the custom profile and professional photos are moot---just saying

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