The 7 Biggest Mistakes Smart People Make in Online Dating

(Spoiler: Being brilliant doesn’t mean you’re good at Bumble)

You’ve got the degree, the career, the well-stamped passport… maybe even the Peloton. But when it comes to online dating?

You feel like you’re trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded.

Welcome to the world where CEOs get ghosted, professors swipe on bots, and everyone pretends they love hiking.

Even the most successful, savvy singles make these 7 mistakes—and the good news?They're all fixable (with a little help from someone like… well, me).

1. Your Profile Sounds Like a PowerPoint

You lead with achievements, board positions, and that one impressive TEDx talk… but forget to include a single spark of you.

💘 Better move: Skip the résumé. Say something cheeky, specific, and human. Try:“Built a business from scratch. Accidentally lit the grill on fire the same week. Thriving either way.”

2. You’re Playing It Too Cool… and It’s Boring

“I love travel, wine, and my friends say I’m fun.” Cool. So does literally everyone else online.

💘 Better move: Use quirky details. Instead of “I love food,” say: “Known for smuggling my favorite hot sauce into restaurants. No shame.”

3. Your Photos Are Either Outdated, Overfiltered, or Just... Meh

That blurry group pic from Aspen '16? Not helping.And the one where you're hiding behind sunglasses, a dog, or a boat wheel? Mysterious ≠ magnetic.

💘 Better move: Post 4–6 photos that show your face, your life, and your spark. Yes, one should make someone say: “I want to meet that person.”

4. You Wait for Them to Message First

You're a total catch—shouldn’t they come to you? Maybe. But this isn't a Jane Austen novel, and passive scrolling gets you… crickets.

💘 Better move: Be bold. A flirty, clever message is the modern-day power move. And confidence? Always attractive.

Want some ideas on how to make this way easier? If you haven't worked with me, watch this video:

5. You’re Falling for “Perfect on Paper” Syndrome

He’s tall, successful, and loves dogs. But after 3 texts and one date, you’re more excited about your leftovers.

💘 Better move: Chemistry doesn’t come from a checklist. Meet sooner, text less, and trust your gut—not his résumé.

6. You’re Dating Like It’s a Marathon With No Finish Line

Three dates this week, five convos going, and 143 swipes before breakfast. No wonder you’re exhausted.

💘 Better move: Date like a minimalist. Be intentional. You don’t need more matches—you need better ones.

7. You Think You Should Be Able to “Figure It Out” Alone

You’re smart. You’ve figured out tougher things than dating. But guess what?Love isn’t a DIY project.

💘 Better move: Get help. A coach (hi!) sees what you can’t, trims the nonsense, and fast-tracks your love life—without the burnout.

💖 Final Truth Bomb:

Smart people often make the worst daters—because you’re used to winning. But dating isn’t a spreadsheet. It’s human. Messy. Magnetic. And yes, it’s a skill you can learn.

Don’t worry—you’re not the only one making these biggest online dating mistakes. That’s why I do what I do.

Because love shouldn't be harder than a MBA. Or raising 4 kids.

Ready to date like a pro? Let’s make magic. Start here with a free 15 minute call with me. Click. What do you have to lose?

xo, Andrea

Founder of 33000Dates.com | Oprah’s pick for Top Dating Expert in the U.S.

Founder of It's Just Lunch

As seen in People, Forbes, WSJ, NYT—and hundreds of success stories later… I still love what I do.