If it happens on the first date, guess what? It’s not going to get better. The great majority of singles tend to be on their best behavior on the initial meeting and if you’re getting weird, bad vibes at the onset, move right along. Hint: 128 million singles in the US should motivate you that you needn’t settle!
They have baggage
Doug, a 45-year-old CFO went on a date last week with an attractive woman who sounded great online. She was 15-minutes late and did apologize…then went into a rant about her babysitter’s issues. BEFORE they even ordered a drink. Then she explained how her ex was not involved at all with her two children and had missed a support check. You think life with her will get better? (BTW, this reminded me of a business mistake I made in my early years hiring at It’s Just Lunch---I really liked her, hired her and was constantly scrambling for coverage when her personal life overwhelmed her—nope, it never got better).
Huge red flag. Lana, 53, was on a dinner date with Ben. All was fun until the waiter brought an “Up martini”---he wanted it on the rocks. Lana told me his face got red, he spoke rudely and asked for a manager. All over ice cubes? This is one you don’t play games with---you see this type of behavior and you immediately block this person from your life.
They ask too many questions/ask no questions
One is annoying, the other uncomfortable. Rapid fire questions are an attempt to shoot down boundaries and are not appropriate on a first date. And, a date who asks no questions to only talk about one’s self, is either nervous or egotistical. Light conversation---movies, sports, books, interests---are solid first date topics.
You don’t like their jokes/sense of humor
Enough said---there’s no changing a personality!
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They drank too much
What’s too much? You had a drinks first date. She gulped down 3 glasses of wine in an hour. Ok, maybe nerves. Maybe. Etiquette generally is one drink----a second cocktail if dinner or appetizers are ordered.
Easily distracted/Looking around the room
Constantly looking at their cell? Poor manners? Not invested in the date? No eye contact? This person gets a hard pass and no second chance. Cell phone etiquette: Put it away. If you have a possible critical call in the next hour, let your date know, turn it over and keep it on vibrate.
They turn up late with no apology We all know Friday evening traffic can be bad. If you are going to be more than 5 minutes late, a text is appropriate. You are telling the person that their time has no value. My dad always says 10 minutes early is on time.
Yes, sometimes second chances are fine----you’re not sure, he was a bit shy, she seemed nervous. That’s ok. But basic manners are a must and it’s time to move onto your next date with someone new.
Happy dating and Happy Sunday---
Andrea McGinty https://www.33000dates.com