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State of the First Date

We recently surveyed 1,419 singles (men and women age 28-54) about dating----and whew, we learned quite a bit. Some a surprise, some just what you’d think!

1. It's Pretty Apparent First Impressions Count

In the first 15 minutes, 79% of men and 36% of women can tell whether or not they are interested.

Since many of these singles were meeting for a drink after work, they tend to stick around for an hour, you know, politeness, social etiquette, etc! Well, by the end of the hour, 21% of men and 62% of women had definitely made up their minds whether this is going to progress to a second date.

2. What are the Top 2 Characteristics Singles are Seeking in a Future Relationship?

Men: Physical attractiveness and Humor -- Women: Honesty and Similar Values Not a big shocker here. Take a few minutes to look in the mirror, wear something you feel great in and touch up those roots. It just shows you care and you value the other person’s time.

As for humor, that is always one of the top things people look for. But saying humor to me is the same as saying nice. What the heck does that mean???? Three words that are overused: Humor, Attractive and Nice. Pretty vanilla, right? There’s goofy humor (think Steve Martin), dry, witty humor (entire UK), silly humor (Dumb and Dumber), dark humor (Parasite)… and the list goes on and on and on. You’re not going to know if your humor clicks until you meet in person. Nope, texts and emails don’t work here -- it’s about facial expression and body language.

3. Biggest Turn-Off on a First Date?

Men: Negativity -- Women: Talking about themselves too much

Even though I’m a woman, geez, negativity gets me every time! And, it’s so easy to spot from the get go. Innocent questions like “How’s your day” and the response “it was crazy, so much traffic, couldn’t get an Uber, my kids are driving me crazy”. Well, they just threw up on you on your first date. Wow, what a future to look forward to.

As for talking too much about themselves, that often happens with men on the first date. After setting up over 33,000 singles on dates then hearing their feedback, it’s a common complaint. But here’s the good news, if you like him enough to go for a 2nd date, this generally isn’t a problem. For some men it’s an alpha thing -- they’re trying to tell you as much about themselves in an hour and often don’t realize there’s not enough back and forth dialogue going on. So, if it feels like it’s a 70-30 split on the first date, it’s likely it will change on the second date!

More coming on the State of the Date!

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