What Men Look for in a Woman – And on the First Couple of Dates

Through the years I have talked with thousands of men about what they are looking for in a first date. A 38-year-old CEO of a Fortune 1000 gave me this list … and I have always kept it! I think he summed up online dating/dating in general:

  • Does she complain about men? Does she complain in general?

  • Is she open to trying new things?

  • Do I like her clothes and sense of style?

  • Can she speak intelligently about more than one thing (such as her job)?

  • Is she emotionally available or is she still talking about her ex a lot? (This is particularly important!)

  • Can she maintain eye contact?

  • Is she nervous? Is there some energy between us or is it flat? (Nervous is better than flat.)

  • Is she generous or is she confrontational? Can she hold her own opinion without making me wrong?

  • Does she have a good sense of humor and a “fun” attitude? Does she get my sense of humor? Is she happy?

  • Do we have chemistry?

  • How does she respond when I put my hand on the side of her arm or the small of her back? Is she open and not afraid to show that she likes me?

  • Is she high maintenance? Does she talk about nicer places than you are taking her to in a way that makes you feel like she would have rather gone there? Does she pick the most expensive thing on the menu for the first date?


Next up: I have a check list of what women are looking for in men as they navigate online dating and all those dating profiles!