As a dating coach, being online daily with clients coaching and helping them pick good matches can be an eye opener---and a reason to gasp, laugh and more. Twice this week I nearly ruined my keyboard by sipping water while reading a potential profile!
Many are good---but here are the things to watch out for and either skip or block:
1. Including a laundry list of turn-offs in your profile This is the dark side. Here’s one Cali and I looked over this week (nope, don’t make these up): “Must be 5’7 or taller, size 4 or under, enjoy daily sex, read the majority of the classics, accomplished pianist and member of Mensa.” There was much more but I’ll stop right here.
2. Asking for a drama free woman---in the first sentence Turn-off? Uh-uh. Way more than that. You’ve just told us you have quite a bit of baggage in relationships and attract drama. Or are you the drama? Don’t spend more than 10 seconds on this guy, no matter how good looking.
3. Bragging about yourself Sorry, I’m not out to pick on men this early morning. Just amazed at “I played Division 1 football, was Homecoming King (what, 30 years ago), recruited by 6 Ivies, have 3 homes….” Etc. Yep, pulled from a real profile this week. We never even got to what he was looking for as it continued in this vein.
4. Nothing adds up in their profile. For example, Michael and I looked at a very attractive 50-year-old woman this week who claimed to be a cardiologist but when we perused her education it said community college. When she also remarked she was a Daughter of the Mayflower, well, we didn’t even give that remark credibility.
5. Using middle-school texting words UR, FWIW, IMO, CYA. Act your age—not your kids or grandchildren. Nope, you’re not cool.
6. Keep expectations low and simple How many times have I heard “wow, she’s perfect for me ---she’s the one” after just looking at photos and profiles. Countless. She’s on a dating site---you know nothing until a meet in real life. Going into a first date with lofty expectations leads to disappointment 99% of the time. I had a client weeks ago who could not stop talking about one man who was flying his private jet on a Friday to Dallas (from Austin) just to meet her. They made plans for the entire weekend. 30 minutes into the date on Friday---it was over.
7. Take the time to really read his/her Profile People put much time and effort into these. Don’t just look at the photos---but read the entire profile.
8. Sign up with a paid membership And only date singles who also paid for their memberships. Skin in the game and all that!
Happy Dating and Happy Thanksgiving Week!
Oh, one tip, skip going online this Thursday and Friday---people are busy with holidays, Black Friday, etc. Do go on Saturday evening and any time Sunday---long weekends the interaction online skyrockets!
Life, Laughter & Love,
Andrea McGinty, Founder, Dating Consultant: 33000Dates.com Founder, It’s Just Lunch 702-494-7344
Featured on Oprah, People, WSJ, NYT, CNN, Today Show and more