#2: Real Online Dating Experiences*
(2 of 3 in real life online dating journeys----from this week!)
This article is devoted to current clients’ dating experiences online---and today is the second in a series of 3---very different than yesterday's article.
Ok, I get asked constantly, “Can long distance work?”. My initial off the cuff answer is why even go here? Getting to know someone is a journey in of itself---then you throw long distance into the mix?
Frequently it comes up with a client living, say in Boston, and they are going to Naples, FL for 2 weeks. Can I date there? Yes, you could---but no one really wants to meet you. You don’t live there. What’s the point? A hook-up? Most singles in Naples will totally ignore your messages, so skip this....
And, let’s talk about long distance and when it COULD work.
Karla, 48, Palm Beach, FL: GM of a family owned business*
(*For the 3 clients, all gave me their permission; I just agreed to change their name and location. The remainder is accurate!).
Karla has been my client for several months. Divorced for 3 years. Adventurous. Positive. We clicked immediately and yes; she said in her initial call “why the heck am I calling you? I’m terrified to do this online dating thing”.
So, here we go:
1. Date #1: Tim, funny but very overweight and looked nothing like his photos. She wanted to quit online dating---who wouldn’t? But as a dating coach for over 25 years, I absolutely knew there were good men out there, in shape, who looked like their photos!
What she learned: When singles post photos, many put a date on them. Now she always looks at the date to make sure they are current!
2. Date #2: Garth. Funny, handsome but he wanted no part of a long-term relationship.
What she learned: Read their profile. People generally say if they are looking to date after a recent divorce, or if they are ready for a LTR. But overall, it was pleasant.
3. Date #3: Matt. Cute. Walked the beach with Frappuccino’s. But no chemistry. Friend material.
What she learned: While the initial 10-minute facetime call was fun, chemistry only happens in real life, right?
Now, for the very questionable date!
Karla called me and we looked over this man’s profile. Wow, he sounded good on paper, great photo of white-water rafting, his family, hiking----but he lived in NYC. But we were both thinking, why a guy from NYC when there’s plenty in the Palm Beach area to date.
But they bantered back and forth 4 times messaging and then decided to have a quick Facetime call.
The call with Michael, 47, VP of Finance went great. And he told her he had a place in Palm Beach as well as NYC. Something he didn’t put in his profile.