5 Reasons some people win at Love (and other’s don’t)

Andrea McGinty
4 days ago
3 min read

Let’s be honest: online dating is not for the faint of Wi-Fi.

Some people swipe their way into love stories. Others? Into emotional exhaustion and password resets.

After 30+ years coaching over 33,000 singles, I’ve seen exactly what separates the ones who find love from the ones who find excuses.

Spoiler: it’s not luck, it’s strategy.

The winners: They aren’t whiners.

1. They Treat Dating Like a Strategy — Not a Side Gig Between Netflix and Pilates.

Successful daters have a game plan. Yes, that’s right, a strategy.

They pick the right apps, use photos that look like them this decade, and approach dating like a project worth investing in.

The rest? They “wing it” and then blame the algorithm.

Hey, here’s a fact for the whiners: Pew Research shows 1 in 3 marriages now start online.

So yes, it works — if you do.

2. Their Profile Tells a Story

Winners know their profile is a highlight reel of their energy, not their LinkedIn.

Photos sell you. Yes, sell you. If you are wincing, grow up. The game changed since your 20s.

Yes, you need professional photos. It’s still you…but now you are going in to win.

Photos should show lifestyle, warmth, humor — not “me at Machu Picchu, 2011.”

3. They Know What They Want (and Don’t Need a Committee to Approve It).

People who win online are clear — about what they value, how they live, and who fits.

They’re not “seeing what happens.”

They’re directing the movie.

No, their friends aren’t.

No co-directors. You. A great dating coach.

That’s it.

Clarity isn’t harsh — it’s magnetic.

4. They Communicate Like Grown-Ups (Not Cryptic Teenagers).

No ghosting, no vanishing mid-text, no “hey” followed by silence.

They flirt, they follow up, they show up.

No games. Never.

A University of Kansas study found that genuine self-disclosure — actually sharing something real — sparks deeper connection faster than “perfect profiles.”

But sharing a hip replacement. No.

An estranged family member. No. (I mean just why???)

Me? I’ve read probably well over 100,000 online profiles.

Yeah, over 30 years that happens.

Boring. Vanilla. Insipid. Ok, some just plain…ridiculous.

Translation: Be human, not PR.

5. They Stay Positive — Even When It’s a Circus.

Dating apps can feel like a digital Hunger Games.

But cynicism? It’s the fastest way to make sure you lose.

Winners laugh at the bad dates, learn from them, and move on without turning into Eeyore

.I won’t even give you the stats and data about positive people----but they win. I’m not a big self-help reader—I’m into strategy.

Need some good tips on positivity?

Go read Arthur Brooks “The Happiness Files”.

I’m giving it as Christmas gifts—this professor at Harvard Business School is also no BS.

Practical. Strategic. Data-driven. About Life. Like me---except I do dating!

Bottom Line:

The people who succeed at online dating aren’t lucky — they’re intentional.

They show up with curiosity, clarity, and a solid strategy.

And that’s where I come in.

I’m Andrea McGinty, founder of 33000Dates.com (and yes, the same Andrea who built It’s Just Lunch). Featured on Oprah, The Today Show, Forbes, People, and CNN, I’ve spent three decades coaching professionals and second-act daters who are ready to stop guessing and start connecting.