I talk with about 200-300 singles about online dating each month---and in my dating coach career, have worked with over 33,000 singles starting in the 90’s. I know a bit about dating from the practical, efficient side—not the theoretical!
And, what a change a few years can make. The 30 year-ago-me would be in disbelief about this column today—but she’d be happy.
Here we go:
Myth 1: Online Dating is for Desperate Singles Ummm, no. It’s a smart, targeted approach to find other singles who have similar interests and goals. A desperate move? Thinking the bars or charity event circuit will solve your singledom problem is. Wouldn’t you rather be sitting on a comfy sofa, sipping a chardonnay, and looking through a vetted dating site/app with other people who also paid for this luxury?
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Myth 2: Online dating is for hook-ups Wrong again! According to mega-research group Gallup, 63% of online daters are looking for a serious relationship. 17% just got out of a long-term relationship/marriage and want rejoin the dating pool. Enough said!
Myth 3: All the good men are taken Ha! That’s a copout, ladies! Over half my clients are men in their 30’s-60’s, and ironically, they ask the same questions. Yes, they do! If Myth #3 is stopping you from online dating, use your air pods and stop listening to your negative friends or sister.
Myth 4: Photos are fake/Photos look nothing like them in real life I would have somewhat agreed with you in the early 2000’s. Not anymore. A Pew Research Study found that over 78% of photos on dating apps/dating sites were not only legitimate, but taken in the past 2 years. These days, many singles caption their photos---like Christmas 2021 or River Rafting July 2022. Also, a growing trend on apps/sites is the 15 second video---it’s taken and date stamped. Voila! What you see is what you will get.
Myth 5: Online dating is not safe Errr, leaving a bar with someone is? Yes, Myth 5 was an initial worry with the advent of online dating. Not anymore. My clients meet at nice restaurants for lunch, brunch or dinner for the first date. Risk factor? Nil.
Myth 6: Men online only want to date younger women Nope, wrong again! Again, quoting research from 2021, Gallup Polls told us that approximately 81% of men 30-62, wanted to date around their age group for similar life experiences. So, ok, I guess 19% want younger. But I’m happy with these odds----and more importantly, this myth does not seem to affect my clients at all! BTW, I do have female clients easily dating men 5 years younger too.
Myth 7: Traditional dating is better Hmmm, what does that even mean? Many of us met our long-term partner in college, grad school or the early years in our career. So, let’s fast forward 10, 20, 30 years later. Where’s the pool of people? Ok, I totally buy the best way to meet people is through friends. The reality? Your friends ran out of friends for you…years ago!
So, why did I move from founding It’s Just Lunch, the 110-location world-wide matchmaking service in the 90’s to doing what I do today? (Ok, a great offer from both a private equity firm and Match may have pushed me a bit).
I saw the future. And we are living it right now---the greatest pool of singles ever in the US is online---you just have to know how to find him/her via the right dating site, the right profile, great recent photos, and terrific and engaging messaging and texting skills. As a top dating counselor, I teach you all of this so you can date efficiently…. where it’s not frustrating and a second job.
Are my clients happy? Over 65% of them are now in relationships…and that make me happy!
Love & Laughter,
Are my clients happy? Over 65% of them are now in relationships…and that makes me happy!