So, this morning I read this article online at 1440, one of my favorite quickie news sources each day. 100 Questions to get to know someone.
My take---some of these questions reminded me of job interviews in my 20’s; I thought, oh no, if you asked me this on a first date I’d be out of there so fast! How about this one: What are you looking for in the dating process? Great way to scare people. Too analytical. Too investigative. Too nosy. Too boring.
As a dating coach, where I talk to many clients weekly, sometimes I nearly fall of my office ball when they tell me what they discussed. And then they wonder, hmmm, why no second date?
So, I chose the worst and best 5 questions for a first date---if you want to read all 100, I’ve included the link at the bottom.
5 Worst First Date Questions:
1. What was a major turning point in your life that got you here?
Excuse me?! Aren’t first dates light, fun and casual? You’ve just basically asked: Tell me about your divorce, widowhood, bad breakups and everything in between which is intrusive and breaks every boundary of a first date. What are you---an executive recruiter?
2. What’s your relationship like with your family?
You’re not addressing wedding invitations and trying to decide which weird sibling or uncle to exclude. Invasive, yep! You’ll learn all this in time---be patient.
Happy long weekend everyone! Remember, after Labor Day is one of the busiest times with online dating before the holidays. So if you're thinking of going for it, now's the time!
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3. What’s the best date you ever had and why?
Let’s leave this with a short: I have no comment on this one, except perhaps unbelievable?
4. What have you learned about yourself from past relationships?
Yikes! I think you just guaranteed no second date.
5. When you’re feeling down, what always cheers you up? Well, you’re not his/her therapist. Do you really want to delve into something kind of depressing on a first date?
5 Best Questions (from the 100 List)
Just a reminder, I’m pulling all these from the 100 List for a First Date---not necessarily my recommendations but some are decent!
1. Are you a movie fan? Favorite Movie? Actor? Actress?
Always a fun topic as most people are back to the movies or at least streaming. One date asked my client “Top Gun or An Officer and a Gentleman”? Good question as Top Gun 2 had just come out and she went with Top Gun. He went with Officer as he thought the story about loyalty and growth was cool. She learned a little about him. Their favorite actress: they both chose Sandra Bullock and laughed. Definitely a 2nd date here!
2. So, what do you do for fun? Easy, engaging question. You’ll already know a bit about them from having read their profile---they ski, SUP, tennis, opera, baseball games. So, it’s easy segue into a conversation. Note: You never have to have the exact same interests as you don’t want a mirror image of you, right?
3. What do you like to read?
Almost everyone reads something---whether it’s the Wall Street Journal, People Magazine, Huff Post to National Geographic. Easy topic as are books. Funny how quite often I hear fiction fans are attracted to non-fiction fans, and vice-versa.
4. Any upcoming vacations?
OK, who doesn’t like to talk about travel? This question generally spirals into favorite past vacations and bucket list thoughts. You learn much from a person who climbed Denali to a person who likes the Cayman beach---their idea of adventure and activity.
5. Where’d you grow up?
Many of us are not living where we grew up---this generally transitions into all the places a person has lived, their family and siblings, traditions, sports teams…. just a fountain of information about your date!
Life, Love & Laughter,
Andrea McGinty Dating Counselor