Dear Clients and Followers---
Since I have dating on the brain, literally, every single day, I was thinking about when new people call or text me. Believe me, no one is rah-rah, yay, so happy I’m calling a dating consultant. They range from skeptical, surrendering, discouraged…and the rare single, excited!
But, that’s ok---because I’m excited enough for both of us. Why? I see the magic happen every week: it may be a 32-year-old man who just ended a 4-year relationship and feels the clock ticking as he wants a partner and family. (Yes, men tick too). It can be a 53-year-old woman who just ended a marriage to her college sweet heart and has no idea where to begin. It could be a 48-year-old woman who just moved from Silicon Valley to NYC and is at a loss without a large support system in a new city.
Oh, so many reasons. And, I love talking to you and seeing if we are a good fit and I can help.
But while I will do “my thing”, helping you navigate the ins and outs of online dating, I’ve always been a huge advocate of doing many things and not just relying on one. Too much pressure.
Don’t have time? Make time. This is your love life we are talking about----and what is more important than a loving partner to travel through life’s simple joys, ups, downs and all in between.
Some of you are familiar with It’s Just Lunch which I founded in 1991 in Chicago as a matchmaking service----pre-online dating, pre-google. I grew it internationally then sold out to private equity to do what I do now----but that’s another story. I just love the one-on-one contact with my clients now that you can’t have with a 600-employee company.
Ok, so what to do?
Throw it all at the wall. Commit. For 3 months you are going to focus on your love life and you will have fun. Yes, fun. Your attitude toward different ways of meeting people is going to be adventuresome, positive, happy. You can do anything for 3 months. And I mean multiple things.
Here we go:
1. Yes, of course, do online dating with me. But you are not stopping there.
2. Once a week, grab one friend (only one) and go to a Trivia Night at a pub. These are fun and super social. You’ll be teamed with 2 other people and play against other foursomes. The comradery and hysterical laughter over answers is a natural bonding experience. No, don’t bring 3 friends---the idea here is to meet new people you would never have been exposed to. My client Alicia (45) tells me I forced her into this. But Alicia, how else would you have met Brian?
3. Exclusive Matchmaking Services: These can be good. It depends on 2 factors: a) who’s running it and b.) how large their client base is in your demographic and the contacts they have. Have I referred any clients? You bet! I’m thinking of Kevin, 29, in NYC who I was working with and yes, he was going on dates online. But he also wanted a matchmaker so I referred him to my 20+ year colleague I had worked with at It’s Just Lunch and totally trust who has been running her own service for the past 10 years. Now, the downside is that it can be expensive---ranging from $20,000 to $90,000 depending on who you use. Always ask to talk to a few clients of theirs first and get everything in writing. But the right one if you have the money can pay off!
4. Meet-Ups Quite often I tell my clients about these. The hiking, travel, happy hour, biking, game nights and other events they throw will get you out of the rut of your friends---and if you are shy, you’ll like these as you are doing an activity.
5. Pickleball Here’s the key---if you have never played, it’s a blast and easy to learn but first take a few beginner or intermediate clinics. The pros are amazing at establishing text chains so you have people to practice with. But here’s the grand prize: Managed Mixed Play. This is usually a few nights a week with a Pro running the two hours---they give you a partner and you keep rotating and playing with and against other---then generally go grab a drink after. Talk about social and fun. I’ve done this many times myself and there is an even distribution of men and women.
6. Other Sports/Hobbies Ok, here’s the thing. You must be interested in it or don’t bother. So, if you are a woman and genuinely want to learn golf, the driving range is your mecca. Men—the yoga studio is your hub. I have Mark, a 41-year-old NYC doctor, who just started taking graphic drawing classes and he’s met so many women he’d never meet otherwise. (He’s a urologist).
7. Other Services: Tawkify, It’s Just Lunch, Local Matchmaker These are matchmaking services and a bit more affordable. From what I see and hear, the prices are highly negotiable but you will be assigned a person to pick out matches for you from their own pool of members. Prices ranges from $3-6,000+. My recommendation here (as one with major insider info) is to get the following in writing: you will only ever work with one matchmaker (you want them to really know you), get the exact number of dates and that they will stay within your parameters of who you'd like to date in writing. They can be good---but they are also good salespeople!
Invest in your personal life. Do many things. Unless you make a conscious effort and commitment, time just flies by and before you know it, it will be Thanksgiving! Remember, you are just making a three month promise to yourself---the more you put out, the more you get back.
Andrea McGinty Founder, https://www.33000dates.com
702-494-7344 (I’m on EST zone)