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Online Dating Messaging Tips.....and Mistakes

Updated: Feb 2

Click above to watch this 2-minute video or read below---I like my videos short, sweet and direct.

One of the most requested topics. Messaging.

We have all been there, found a person we really like, matched with them,

clicked on their profile, and then… suddenly… blank? Uhm… what do I

say? Hi? You’re pretty? Is that too much? Let’s just put a simple “Hi”, yes


No Reply? Darn it!

It’s alright, you’re not alone in this, most of my clients struggle with

messaging I find as an online dating coach. “Messaging and online dating weren’t around the last time I

was single”. This is the most common problem with messaging I have


So, without further ado, let me super simplify it for you once again.

#1: What Messages NOT to Send?

● You are so pretty.

● What’s up? (really????)

● How’s your weekend?

● You have a great body (yuck)

● We have so much in common

Please don’t send messages like these, unless you like being single, in

which case these are your best friends.

#2: Don’t copy-paste the same message to everyone.

I mean it. We pick up on it, and when we do? – Block or Delete. Straight


#3: Your style must be friendly and fun. This is not a work email.

Similar to the photos. This is a place for you to show your fun side and be

yourself. Don’t be another work robot.

A simple hack you can use to make this easy for you:

Imagine it’s someone you already know and write in a friendly style. This is

the easiest way to “assume” rapport. They’ll like you for it and feel

comfortable quickly.

#4: This one for the ladies - Send that first message.

It’s the 2020s, not the dark ages. Men LOVE when you send the first

message---why must they do all the work? It shows confidence and men

love it!

#5: Don’t prolong the messaging.

Don’t go on forever talking to the same person. Once you have talked for a

while, book that coffee meet. If you must, do a 5-minute phone call – but

that’s it. You don’t want to message forever and them losing interest


#6: Other Tips

a. Don’t ask for their phone number on the first message (yes, people

do this!!!)

b. Don’t send a few paragraphs or a novella as your first message (yep,

they do this too!)

c. Keep it to 3 unique, interesting sentences

d. And don’t ask them what they are looking for---you’ll find that out

when you meet!!!

e. Do not send hearts, likes, smiles, winks

I hope you found in this email, a very strong ‘checklist’ of what to do and

what not to do when writing those messages. Writing good messages is

key to escalating to that next step of your dating life.

And as always,

If you want to make it simple and not miss out on good chances, you can

have me do the work for you and you can enjoy the benefits.

Your Cheerleader,

Andrea McGinty.

Founder of 33000Dates and It’s Just Lunch. Dating Coach and Dating Expert

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