No, this isn’t Disney or Six Flags. The concept of winning in online dating is often overstated….or understated. Despite the fact that 1 out of 3 singles got married in 2022 (the last year we have real stats from real research companies, not from the dating sites) through online dating, it does not guarantee a 1 in 3 chance of finding love. As an experienced dating coach of 25 years, I can assure you that several factors contribute to success in online dating.
While some may think that I possess clairvoyant abilities, the truth is that I can assess a person's likelihood of success after just a 10-15-minute conversation. It is not about luck or serendipity, but rather a few crucial factors that play a significant role. In fact, 65% of my clients are currently in long-term relationships, and only a small percentage can be attributed to luck. So, how can you improve your chances?
1. It all boils down to attitude.
It is not about having the perfect app, photo, or profile. As a dating coach, I understand the frustrations and exhaustion that can accompany online dating. However, having an open mind, a willingness to try with a positive outlook, and the ability to listen to advice can make a world of difference. This alone can greatly enhance your chances of success.
2. Friends play a significant role in our lives.
But, when it comes to increasing your chances online, they may not be the best source of expertise. Just because your friend has had terrible dating experiences or found success through a specific dating site like Match or Hinge or Bumble, it doesn't mean that it will work the same way for you.
For instance, I recently had a conversation with a 56-year-old executive from Google who insisted on using Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) because his friend in New York recommended it. However, the problem was that CMB had a limited user base in his area, and he had no plans of relocating. This significantly reduced his chances of finding a match.
3. When it comes to online dating, the importance of photos is paramount. Yes, I go on and on about photos---while attitude is crucial, having captivating photos is equally essential. As a dating consultant, I always emphasize the significance of having great photos to my clients. However, this doesn't mean you need to spend a fortune on professional studio shots or heavily edited pictures.
Before my initial Zoom call with a new client, I request them to share their best photos from the past two years. One of my clients from Rosemary Beach,FL amazed me with his collection of photos. Despite being a 60-year-old man, he had vibrant, fun and adventurous pictures (as in doing a flip while water skiing) taken by his 16-year-old son during various water sports activities. His passion for the water and his genuine, joyful smile attracted numerous women. He didn't require professional photos because his authentic shots spoke volumes. Consequently, his chances of finding a compatible partner were significantly higher.
He is now in a serious relationship, and I'm glad to have played a part in his success. Losing clients like him is a positive outcome in my line of work.
4. The App/Site Selection: Essential.
Although it may be tempting to experiment with various apps/sites, this approach often leads to rapid discouragement. While Tinder is the largest dating app globally (owned by Match), the chances of finding a suitable match diminish significantly if you don't fit their preferred age range, demographics, or geographical location. A common question clients ask me after our Zoom call is, "How can I choose the right site for myself?" The answer lies in a combination of factors:
a. With over 25 years of experience in this field, I possess extensive knowledge about different sites, based on my clients' successes, stories, and anecdotal evidence.
b. I subscribe to monthly paid research that provides valuable insights into app/site growth, ideal age groups, strengths in specific geographic areas, and other relevant demographics.
By selecting the right site, your odds of success increase significantly.
Think of me as the Fast Pass to Disney, except I save you weeks/months of frustration! Ready? Use this link to schedule a 15-minute call to see if I can help you and we are a good fit.
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