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Why most daters seek a partner who is on the ‘goofier’ side

Hi, my friends! I had to weigh in on this topic from the New York Post as I found this both a mixture of fun, dumb and true----for baby boomers to Gen Z and millennials. So, my color commentary as a dating counselor/dating consultant with day-to-day interaction with many clients navigating their way through the world of online dating---you know I couldn’t stay away! (I’m in green! The NY Post (no matter what you make of them…is in black).

Two in three singles claim “goofy is the new sexy.”

A new poll of 2,000 single Americans revealed that 60% are more likely to respond to the first message they receive from a potential date if it’s funny or clever.

OMG, so true. “How you doing” is certainly not clever. “Kevin, you got me with the photo of you wiping out on a black diamond. Can totally relate as I ask myself why the heck am I on this ski slope? Perhaps a warm toddy next week is apropos”?

Three in four said a shared sense of humor is even considered a turn-on.

Yet for the majority (55%) of people, crafting the perfect first message is stressful.

Ahhha, yes, I hear this every single day! I always tell my clients to think of it like this: you’re texting you BF or brother with a quick whimsical message---nothing formal---just informational and fun. Never repeat anything that’s already in your profile!

Over half (58%) of singles wish they knew more about the person on the other side of the screen before sending/receiving a message from them.

Sure, we do---that’s why we go on first dates and not waste time with endless messaging and phone calls. Chemistry happens in person!

But, 48% would prefer to skip the small talk and claim the process of getting to know someone they’re interested in can be awkward.

Oh, after 3-4 first dates the first 2 weeks you will be so over this hurdle!

Commissioned by Plenty of Fish and conducted by OnePoll, the study found that two in three (63%) believe that breaking the ice is the hardest part about meeting new people.

Ok, keep it light: holiday plans, films, current events, England’s weird way of choosing prime ministers----no deep dives into past relationships or how they like online dating. Does anyone love online dating? C’mon, get real! They love it once they meet the one.

Two in three singles claim “goofy is the new sexy.”

You know what that means? Quirky is fun! Laughter is the best medicine!

Perhaps this is because singles are most likely to experience anxiousness (50%), shyness (48%) and excitement (39%) when they try to impress others during the first interaction. Aww, geez, go into it like a new adventure and you are going to learn more about him/her and yourself!

A client went out with what she called a “boring anal doctor” but then he started talking about new supplements and she got some great ideas! Second date? No. But came out learning something new. And it was only an hour!

Forty-three percent of people said they feel pressure to ask the right questions upfront. Huh? What’s the right questions? Each person is unique. There are NO right questions. Be you.

60% of respondents said getting to know someone in a group setting helps take the romantic pressure off them. Totally disagree unless you are looking for a whole new group of friends. Most of us have plenty. One on one is best if you’re looking for a relationship plus some tend to be shy in group settings.

60% of respondents said getting to know someone in a group setting helps take the romantic pressure off them.


Respondents are interested in both deeper and more light-hearted questions when getting to know someone, as 60% are hoping to find out the timeline of their last relationship and 61% want to know if they want to have kids.

Ok, really? On a first date? Your only thought should be “Would I like to go on a second date with this person!” No forensic investigation into their past on date one.

They also like to find out what someone they’re interested in likes to do for fun (79%), where they are from (79%), their hobbies (78%) and their favorite shows to binge-watch (76%). Yep. Agree!

There was more to this article but I’ll stop here due to all of our attention spans! Click the link if you want it all.

Want to see if I can help you navigate online dating as a dating coach and dating consultant? Text me at 702-494-7344 to schedule a 15-minute chat! Free.


Andrea McGinty Dating Counselor

October 20, 2022 Read in New York Post:


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