Why Rejection Isn't Actually a Thing...in Dating(Seriously, Stop Giving It That Much Power)

or after a month. (general relativity took him nearly 8 years....all I'm asking for is 3 months!)

Let’s get this straight from the top :Rejection isn’t real.

Not in the way you think it is. It’s not an indictment of your worth. It’s not proof that you're “too much” or “not enough.” And it’s definitely not a cosmic sign that you should give up and adopt more cats (unless you want to—cats are great).

So why does it sting like a papercut to the soul? Because we’ve been taught to see dating like a job interview. But guess what? You’re not a résumé. You’re not applying for a position.

You’re the damn CEO, and you're deciding who deserves a seat at your table.

 Let’s Start with the Obvious: People Are Wildly Different

Take a walk through Target and just… observe. Some people are in full glam. Others are in pajama pants and Crocs. One woman’s cart has almond flour and kale, and the guy next to her is hoarding frozen burritos like it’s the apocalypse.

People are unique. Quirky. People are different. People like different things. (Some voluntarily eat cottage cheese. That alone proves my case.)

And that’s just appearances. Once you start factoring in personalities, worldviews, politics, quirks, trauma, playlists, and preferred thermostat settings? It’s a miracle anyone connects.

 Think Back to High School (I Know, I'm Sorry)

Remember sitting in class with 25 other hormonal teenagers, all shoved into one social petri dish?

You got to know them. Some you liked. Some you couldn’t stand. And some were in that mysterious category of “great lab partner but would rather eat glue than hang out socially.”

The point? You didn’t like everyone—and not everyone liked you. And it didn’t mean you were unworthy of friends. It meant you weren’t for them, and they weren’t for you.

Same thing with dating. Except now, everyone’s grayer, hopefully wiser, and their red flags are harder to ignore.

 What We Call Rejection Is Really… Taste

Imagine walking into an ice cream shop and ordering Rocky Road. Does that mean you’re rejecting Mint Chocolate Chip? No. You just weren’t in the mood for it. (Even though Mint Chip is clearly superior, but that’s another blog.)

This is how dating works.

Sometimes someone doesn’t want a second date because they prefer a quieter person. Or someone taller. Or they aren’t over their ex. Or your laugh reminds them of their third-grade teacher who gave them a C in math.

It’s not about you. It’s about them. And honestly? Sometimes you didn’t like them either, but your ego’s just louder than your intuition.

 Rejection = Redirection (and Sometimes, a Dodged Bullet)

Here’s a little secret from the dating trenches: The people who ghosted you? The ones who never texted back? The ones who said, “You’re great, but…”?

Half the time, you’re upset not because you liked them, but because they didn’t validate you. Which is a very human thing—but also a very pointless use of your fabulous emotional bandwidth.

Truth is, every “no thanks” is just steering you closer to the “holy sh*t, this one gets me” moment. And that moment? It’s worth waiting for.

How to Handle Rejection

1. Feel it, then move the hell on.

   You’re allowed to feel disappointed. Eat the ice cream. Call your best friend. Then get back in the game like the resilient person you are.

   
   

2. Don’t internalize someone else's taste.

   You wouldn’t cry if someone didn’t like your favorite book. So why spiral because someone didn’t want a second date?

   
   

3. Celebrate that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea.

   Being universally liked is boring. You’re not mayonnaise. Be the wasabi. Be the espresso martini. Be someone who sparks something.

   
   

4. Laugh about it. He unmatched you because you like astrology? Cool. His loss—he probably doesn’t even know his rising sign. Rookie.

   
   

5. Reframe the Narrative

It’s not “I got rejected.”

It’s “I got clarity.”

It’s “I got spared. ”

It’s “I’m still out here, learning, trying, showing up, and not settling for meh.”

Because what you want is a connection that feels like home, not a performance review. And that kind of match isn’t going to be scared off by your age, your laugh lines, or your refusal to pretend you like hiking just to get a date.

So keep showing up as you. Whole. Wild. Wonderful. And remember: Rejection?

Not a thing. Just part of the process.

And, don’t give up before the magic happens.  Give it 3 months with a strategy—not rejection, but online dating with direction and use a pro to help you navigate.

While I can’t promise love (no one can!), I can promise a much more efficient and effective way to date.  And Fun.  (yes, I did say fun). I’ve got you.

Yep, time for that 15 minute call with me? Why not? Click.

xo, Andrea