Before we get started, I was so excited last night when I got a text…where I promptly called my client Alicia (age 57—from Boston)  back.   Yes, she got engaged to Daniel---I remember picking him out for her and how much fun they had on their first date.

  I’m so happy.  Why I do this! I’m expecting a wedding invite and BTW it was Alicia’s 14^th Match.com date!  Alicia and Daniel, Congratulations!

OK, back to those dating mistakes…..

(Spoiler: Your MBA Isn't Helping Your Bumble Profile.)

You've built a career.

Raised kids.

Bought homes.

Negotiated contracts.

Managed teams.

But somehow online dating feels like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions.

Welcome to modern dating, where CEOs get ghosted, attorneys match with scammers, and everyone claims they "love adventure."

After 33,000 first dates, I've noticed something surprising:

The smarter you are, the easier it is to make some very avoidable dating mistakes.

Here are my Top 5 for today..

1. Your Profile Reads Like LinkedIn

You've listed accomplishments, credentials, and enough achievements to qualify for a lifetime award.

The problem?

Nobody falls in love with your résumé.

 Do this instead: Give people a glimpse of your personality.

"Built a successful business. Still can't fold a fitted sheet."

Now we're getting somewhere.

2. You're Trying Way Too Hard to Sound Normal

"I love travel, good food, family, and laughter."

Congratulations.

You just described 97% of the internet.

 Do this instead: Be specific.

"I judge restaurants by their bread basket and have strong opinions about airport behavior."

Specific is memorable.

Generic is invisible.

3. You're Shopping, Not Dating

You have 27 requirements.

Height requirements.

Education requirements.

Political requirements.

Dog requirements.

At this point you're not looking for a partner.

You're building a custom luxury vehicle.

Do this instead: Look for connection, curiosity, and character.

Most people don't miss love because they aimed too low.

They miss it because they filtered too aggressively.

4. You're Waiting for Instant Chemistry

One date.

No fireworks.

Next.

Here's the problem:

Some of the strongest relationships I've ever seen started with:

"I'm not sure yet."

Do this instead: Stop treating dating like a talent show where someone gets voted off after five minutes.

Give good people a chance to become interesting.

5. You Think You Should Be Able to Figure This Out Yourself

This is my favorite.

Successful people hire trainers, coaches, consultants, financial advisors, and attorneys.

Then they decide dating is the one thing they'll completely wing.

Do this instead: Get objective feedback.

Because when you're inside the bottle, it's hard to read the label.

Final Truth Bomb

Smart people aren't bad at dating.

They're often just too good at explaining away bad decisions, defending old patterns, and believing they're the exception.

Dating isn't an intelligence test.

It's a people test.

And sometimes the smartest move is admitting you don't have all the answers.

That's where I come in.

Because love shouldn't be harder than launching a company, surviving teenagers, or figuring out why your Wi-Fi stopped working five minutes before a Zoom call.

xx, Andrea

Andrea McGinty

33000Dates.com | 10,200 Marriages | over 30+ years | Featured on Oprah, Forbes, People, Bloomberg and lots more |Founder of It's Just Lunch