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In the Love Bubble? Mistakes to Avoid

Updated: Jul 17, 2023

And do bubble burst? Of course! Now, that is not saying you can’t stay happily or madly in love and this person becomes your best friend and partner. These bubbles generally occur in the first 1-3 months of a new relationship.

But here’s the mistakes to avoid along way:

1. Introducing them to everyone in the first month or two It might be your children, your parents, a college or family reunion. It’s too soon. And how about a broad-based introduction on Facebook or other social media announcing you are in a relationship? Uh-Uh.

2. Forgetting your friends Remember just a month ago you had weekly girlfriend lunches? Monthly book clubs? Now, I’m not picking on anyone here, but this tends to be more of a female theme when starting a new relationship---and I’m not into gender stereotypes, but is he giving up his weekly tennis, golf, basketball games to spend 100% of his time with you?

3. You’re not an executive recruiter Where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years? Pointed questions are apropos for a headhunter but not for you in the first month or two of dating. (We know what you are really asking: Do you see you with me? It reeks of desperation).

4. It’s not about getting there …. it’s about the journey, just like in life. Ok, let’s use a real journey. You’ve planned a trip to Istanbul. You bought business class tickets on Turkish Air. You get to go in their famed airport lounge full of treat and delights. You shop at the Grand Bazaar. You have a drink at the Four Seasons which was a prison for centuries. You have luscious spa treatments at the hammam. So, what the best part? All of it, including the journey. Just like dating, it’s not the destination but the entire process of getting there, getting to know someone, over time.

5. Honesty in the bedroom Intimacy is a big part of love. Maybe your past relationships lacked in this department. Be communicative from the very beginning---what you enjoy, what you’d like to try. When you are ready. But don’t bring past baggage into the bedroom---this is a fresh start with a partner who may be long-term for you!

6. Settling because you don’t want to be alone Trust me, you’ll be even lonelier. That also does not mean a long rigid list, but it must be someone that you share common values, communicate well with and can compromise on a daily basis.

7. Giving them a key …. too soon. What’s too soon? Probably a few weeks. After that, it different for each couple. Just based on what I’ve heard and observed over 25 years as a dating coach, it’s usually around the 3–6-month mark.

So, if you need relationship or dating coaching, call me. It’s what I do. It’s what I love. Helping people. Being an objective person to bounce ideas off. Last night, a client called that I hadn’t heard from in a year (I knew he was in a serious relationship). He’d scheduled the call last week with me and I was totally curious what he wanted to talk about.

Yes, he’s still in a serious happy relationship, but just like anyone else, occasionally you disagree. So, what we discussed was nothing I’d ever discussed before---but he left the call happy, as did I. Sometimes an outsider without a vested interest is exactly what you need!

Keep smiling---it just takes one.

With love,

Andrea McGinty Helping you date efficiently and effectively



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