“Online Dating? I’d Rather Lick a Subway Pole.”

(And Other Myths You Need to Retire)

 (And Other Myths You Need to Retire)

Let’s be honest — saying “I would NEVER do online dating” in 2025 is the dating equivalent of saying “I’ll never use Uber… I prefer to hail a cab in the rain.”

Still, I hear it every week:

• “It’s for losers.”

• “What if someone I know sees me?”

• “I’ll meet someone organically because… have you seen me?”

Pull up a chair because we’re about to dismantle every one of these myths with equal parts truth, humor, and a dash of eye roll.

1. “Online dating is for losers.”

Oh yes, because Brad-from-accounting, who met his gorgeous, whip-smart wife on Bumble, is just a total loser.

• In reality, EVERYONE is online now — CEOs, surgeons, pilots, yoga instructors, execs, horse breeders, ranchers, teachers, NFL coaches (yep, I have one), museum curators...wow, these sound like losers, huh?

• The actual losers are the ones complaining about their empty love life while watching Netflix alone.

• Stigma? That died around the same time we stopped using dial-up.

2. “But what if someone I know sees me?”

Oh no, Brenda from HR might find out you… want love in your life? Scandal!

• Here’s the truth: They’re on there too. Your neighbor? Swiping. Your dentist? On Hinge. Your ex? Probably reusing the same three selfies from 2017.

• If they see you, it means they’re on there too. Boom — instant mutual embarrassment, no harm done. Ten years ago people may have cared---not anymore!

3. “I’m a 60-year-old man and I’ve heard online dating is full of scary women no man wants.”

Buddy. Those “scary” women? They’re just women who have standards and know how to use a block button.

• The guys who say this are usually the ones still whining that their high school girlfriend “changed.”

• The truth? There are amazing women online — if you stop swiping like a raccoon in a dumpster and learn how to actually talk to one.

4. “I’m 50 and I hear horror stories about scammers.”

• Sure, there are scammers. There are also people selling “miracle” diet teas on Instagram. And Ozempic drops for $10 to drop 40 pounds in a month. Learn to spot the red flags, and you’ll be fine.

• The platforms have filters, reporting tools, and verification now — use them.

• And if someone asks for your bank account before date one, congratulations: you’ve met your first scammer. Block and move on.

5. “I’ll meet someone organically because I’m good looking and successful.”

Ah yes, the “I’ll just bump into my soulmate at Whole Foods” fantasy.

• You might meet someone at a bar… or you might meet a guy named Larry who “forgot” his wallet.

• Organic meetings happen about as often as someone returning your lost wallet at a concert.

• Online dating just makes your “meet cute” odds skyrocket — and you can still be picky.

6. “All my girlfriends tried it and came up with horror stories.”

Cool, and I know people who had bad sushi once and now won’t touch Japanese food.

• Their bad experiences? Usually from having bad profiles, zero strategy, or swiping with their eyes closed.

• It’s like blaming the oven when you burn a cake — user error, friend.

Hey, they are mots likely doing something wrong! Want a fast free and fun Andrea-Analysis of your love life? If you have not already, take my free dating quiz. Click.

7. “I have no time for that nonsense.”

Translation: “I have plenty of time to scroll Instagram, but not for finding love.”

• 15 minutes a day on dating apps beats the months (or years) you’ll waste hoping your barista flirts back.

• If you have time to binge-watch a series about people dating in pods, you have time to date in real life. (FYI: Two friends of mine--one on the Bachelor and one on the Golden Bachelor---not only horrific odds of getting on the show but do you think any of that is real...oh the stories I could tell about those shows!)

  
  

8. “I’m 59, divorced, and happy — I don’t need a man.”

Fantastic! That’s actually the best time to date.

• You’re not looking from desperation — you’re looking from choice.

• Having friends is wonderful. Having a partner and friends? Even better.

• Think of it as dessert — your life’s great, but why not add chocolate?

  
  

9. “I would never stoop so low — I’m not desperate.”

• Using a dating app isn’t “stooping.” It’s literally just… using technology.

• You didn’t “stoop” to order groceries online, did you? Or to book that last vacation on Expedia?

• Desperate is dating your ex’s cousin because “you’re bored.” This? This is strategy.

  
  

10. “I’m 63, but I look 45 — no accomplished men in their 60s are online.”

The accomplished men are online — they’re just messaging the women who actually show up there.

• And no, “men all want to date younger” is not a blanket truth. Many want someone who gets their references without needing a Google search.

• If you’re fabulous, be fabulous where people can see you.

  
  

11. “I’m fine living alone.”

Perfect. No one’s asking you to change that.

• But if you’ve ever secretly wished for someone to split the bottle of wine with, argue over Netflix, or hold your hand at the movies… maybe you’re open to not living alone forever.

• Online dating just gives you options.

  
  

12. “My city is the worst for dating.”

Every city has “the worst” dating reputation… according to the people who sit home complaining. I've heard this one since 1990.

• Chicago, NYC, LA, Austin — I’ve coached people to find love in all of them.

• The problem isn’t your city — it’s your approach.

Bonus: One of my favorites? Working with a new client on Monday --- I had picked out a new man for her who sounded great---and you know what she said? OMG, Andrea, he's been on here for like 5 years. ^{🙄🙄🙄 (triple eye roll) And, I said, so have you. Then we both laughed. Yep, she got my point.}

The Truth Bomb

Online dating isn’t for losers. It’s for people who actually want to meet someone — without leaving it up to fate, rom-com plotlines, or bumping into Mr. Right at the produce aisle (spoiler: he’s not there, he’s ordering groceries online).

The real “loser move” is dismissing the biggest dating pool on the planet because you’re clinging to outdated myths.

💡 Bottom line: If you’re serious about love, your odds are infinitely better when you’re in the game. And in 2025, the game is online and offline.

So go ahead — make a killer profile, put up photos where you look like you on your best day, and get out there. Worst case? You get a funny story. Best case? You get a second act love story.

And I know which one I’d bet on.