Oh, the eternal question. What do women want? How about men? With over 25 years’ experience working with both, the good news is that it’s a bit same---and then a whole lot different! As 50% of my clients are male, today I’m going to focus on what I hear on a daily basis from men on the characteristics men are looking for in a woman.
For some reason, this past week, I’ve worked with more men than women on daily coaching calls---while most of what they said is common sense, some may be a bit of an eye opener.
1. Taking control Ok, this starts with the online dating process. Men love when the woman reaches out first with a message, not a heart or like. This continues in the dating process---a frequent comment men make is “She relies on me to do all the date planning---I love if she comes up with ideas”. Yep, this is 2023, not 1965. Control does not mean a domineering or bossy attitude, just someone who knows her own mind and has ideas.
2. A Positive and Confident Attitude I cannot stress this one enough! I combined two here as men find confidence extremely sexy and a positive attitude shines through immediately on a date. Example: Ron, 59, in Fort Worth had a date with a pretty 58-year-old woman this week. At lunch, he asked about her day. You know the first words out of her mouth? “The traffic was lousy getting here and the rain ruined my hair”. OMG. Do you really think a second date is happening???
3. No Mind Games
Bottomline, this is manipulation. Whether it’s playing games (they had a great first date, he texted her, she waited 4 days to answer, thinking this made her more desirable by playing hard to get) or a cryptic message another woman left a man saying there were several things she’d like to talk to him about next week when she got back from a vacation. He’d lost all interest at this point.
4. A Healthy Mind and Body
You know, many say 50 is the new 40 as many of us have taken great care of ourselves, eating well, exercising, self-care---so different from our parents/grandparents era.
5. An Intelligent Mind Yes, men like an attractive woman. But guess what? An interesting conversationalist, well-read, up on current events and an open mind to discuss different topics is just as enticing.
6. Empathetic and Kind Heart
The opposite of a catty woman. (Almost used another word but you know what I mean!). Little acts of kindness such as to the wait staff, talking positively of others, volunteering, etc. show character, consideration and graciousness.
7. Adventure
Yep, a man likes a sense of adventure in a woman---a willingness to try new things, travel to new places, meet new people and explore life together. “I’ve never done that before and have no interest” is the kiss of death.
8. The Way She Presents First impressions are crucial! A stylish outfit, nails done, hair freshly blown out, pretty jewelry---all are immediately noticed. The most crucial: your smile and a sparkle in your eyes. Now, that’s a big turn-on. It shows you are happy to be here with him.
Hang on, gentlemen---my next article is about what women find attractive in men. If you have any comments, as always I’d love to hear them and you can add them to the bottom of this article.
Happy Sunday & Happy Dating,
Andrea McGinty
Founder, It’s Just Lunch and 33000Dates.com Dating Coach/Dating Counselor 702-494-7344
As always, I am available for a free 15-minute call to see if we are a good fit for each other and I can be of help. Text me for a time. Always love meeting new people....and no pressure!