You Just Got an Extra Hour. Your Love Life Would Like a Word.
It’s Sunday, November 1st. The clocks fell back, and you’ve been handed an extra hour.
Sixty glorious minutes.
You could spend them trying to reset the clock on your oven. You could open the refrigerator six times to see whether anything has become more interesting.
Or you could do something about the love life you keep saying you don’t have time for.
Before you waste your bonus hour checking whether someone who ghosted you six months ago is still single, why not do something that might actually get you a date?
Here are 6 ways to put that extra hour to work. Because the clocks went backward. Your dating life doesn't have to.
1. Give your dating profile a pulse. — 15 minutes
If your profile says “I love to laugh,” congratulations. You’ve distinguished yourself from people who prefer to weep.
Today, replace one tired sentence with something someone can actually respond to.
Instead of “I enjoy travel,” try: “I’ll happily fly to Italy for lunch. My financial adviser would prefer I stop.”
Instead of “I like dining out,” try: “Looking for someone who orders something different so I can try yours.” (Me, Andrea, I personally love this one as my ex-husband would never, ever give me even a bite of his food---Jeff happily shares his in big dollops. Oh, me and the ex. Good friends still. Just never eat out with him.)
And check your photos. If the person in your main picture has a different hairstyle, a different decade, and a dog who has since gone to heaven, it’s time.
You’re looking for a date. You shouldn’t need an archivist.
2. Send three messages that require more effort than a doorbell. — 10 minutes
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How’s your weekend?”
Somewhere, romance is lying down with a cold washcloth on its forehead.
Read the person’s profile. Find something specific. Ask about it.
“You say you’re competitive at pickleball. Are we talking friendly competition or disputed line calls and a family intervention?”
There. A conversation.
Send three thoughtful messages today. Then put the phone down. You do not need to supervise their delivery like you’re transporting a kidney.
3. Retire one rule that hasn’t earned its pension. — 7 minutes
“He has to be six feet.”
“She has to be younger.”
“They must live within fifteen minutes.”
Wonderful. You’ve narrowed your search to a man who’s married, a woman who’s uninterested, and your neighbor’s landscaper.
Keep the standards that matter: kindness, attraction, emotional availability, compatible intentions.
But examine one preference you’ve promoted to federal law.
Would you really reject someone terrific because they live thirty-five minutes away? You’ve driven farther for a decent haircut.
Today, widen one filter. See who appears.
4. Leave the house looking available for conversation. — 20 minutes
Take a walk. Browse a bookstore. Get coffee somewhere you can sit.
But remove the earbuds, lift your eyes, and stop gripping your phone like it contains your witness protection instructions.
Your assignment: make one friendly comment to someone.
“Have you read that author?”
“Is the coffee here worth the line?”
“Your dog looks like he negotiates everything.”
You don’t have to come home engaged. You’re practicing being approachable.
And oh, do I love this one! I actually have an entire eight-week coaching program built around sending people to interesting places ALONE with one assignment: Talk to strangers! Nope, you can't bring a friend as your security blanket. You'll be amazed how quickly you build that “I can meet someone in real life!” confidence.
No, meeting in real life is not dead.
And trust me, I practice what I preach. Much to the horror of my 20-something kids, I can strike up a conversation with absolutely anyone, anywhere. It's practically my superpower. Their embarrassment is just a bonus.
5. Turn “sometime” into an actual date. — 5 minutes
Open the conversation that has been going nowhere since the leaves were green.
“Sometime” = Never. What a stupid little word. Pick a day already!
Write:
“I’ve enjoyed chatting. Want to meet for coffee Wednesday or Thursday at 99 Drips or Coco’s?”
That’s it. Two days. Two places. One invitation. No committee.
If they dodge, disappear, or explain that things are “crazy right now” for the fourth consecutive month, you have useful information.
You’re seeking a relationship, not applying for a position on someone’s waiting list.
If they dodge, disappear, or explain that things are “crazy right now” for the fourth consecutive month, you have useful information.
You’re seeking a relationship, not applying for a position on someone’s waiting list.
6. Find out what YOUR dating personality says about you. — 3 minutes
Okay, now for something that might explain a LOT about your love life.
I've spent more than 35 years in the dating business, arranged over 33,000 first dates, and helped create more than 10,000 marriages and long-term relationships.
And here's what I've learned: People change their dating profiles, their photos, their apps, even their hair color. But they keep making the same dating mistakes.
Why?
Because they don't understand their own dating personality.
That's why I created the McGinty Relationship Dating Profile (MRDP), (yep, think Myers-Briggs for your love life only way more fun) a 23-question assessment that helps uncover your dating strengths, blind spots, and patterns.
Are you overthinking every date? Dismissing terrific people too quickly? Chasing chemistry while ignoring compatibility?
Your results might surprise you. They might even explain your last five dates. Ouch.
Three minutes. Twenty-three questions. And maybe a few answers you've been looking for.
By tonight, you could have a better dating profile, three new conversations, a wider dating pool, a little real-world flirting confidence, a coffee date on your calendar, and a whole new understanding of your dating personality. Plus know meeting “in real life” is not a 1990s thing.
Not bad for an hour you didn't even know you had coming.
The oven clock can wait. It's been wrong since March anyway.
xx,
Andrea McGinty
Founder, It's Just Lunch & 33,000 Dates
Author, 2nd Acts: 166 Winning Strategies for Dating Over 50
35+ Years | 33,000+ First Dates | 10,000+ Marriages
America's Premier and Original Dating Coach since 1991
Love isn't luck. It's strategy.
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