There Are 1,400+ Dating Sites. Everyone Wants Me to Pick One in 12 Seconds.
Three podcasts. Two TV shows. One week. Yes, my past 5 days.
And apparently, every interviewer in America has received the same memo.
"Andrea, what's the best dating app?"
Ah, yes. THAT question.
The one I'm supposed to answer in 12 seconds, preferably while smiling into the camera and pretending I've discovered the secret entrance to the world's last remaining supply of emotionally available men.
"Hinge? Bumble? Match?"
Hang on. Let me grab my crystal ball. It's somewhere between my reading glasses and the 33,000 first dates I've helped arrange.
Asking me which dating app you should use without telling me anything about yourself is like calling a real estate agent and asking, "Where should I live?"
Well, are you 35 or 75? Manhattan or Montana? Looking for a husband, a hiking companion, or someone who can finally explain why your television has seven remotes?
Details, people. DETAILS.
There isn't one magical dating app where all the wonderful, commitment-ready people are hiding behind a velvet rope, waiting for me to give you the password.
If there were, believe me, I'd have found it.
I'd probably own it.
And I'd charge admission.
Dating Apps Are Not One-Size-Fits-All. Neither Are Bras.
Let's say you're a 62-year-old divorced woman in Boca Raton who loves golf, travel, and men who own more than one pair of shoes.
Should you be using the same dating strategy as a 38-year-old software engineer in San Francisco who wants three children and considers hiking 14 miles a relaxing Sunday?
Probably not.
Yet everyone wants a universal recommendation, as if I'm handing out winning Powerball numbers.
I need information. Actual information.
Your age. Your city. Your relationship goals. Your lifestyle. Your priorities. Whether you're willing to drive 45 minutes for a date or consider crossing the county line a long-distance relationship.
And that's before we discuss your dating profile.
The Dating App Isn't Always the Problem. Sometimes It's the Driver.
Here's something people don't particularly enjoy hearing.
You can be on the perfect dating app and still have a dating life that resembles a yard sale in a hurricane.
Why?
Your photos are from 2017. Your profile says you "love to laugh" (congratulations, so does the rest of humanity). You're choosing people who are completely wrong for you and dismissing promising prospects because they used the wrong emoji.
Or worse, you're treating every first date like a congressional confirmation hearing.
"So, tell me about your retirement accounts, your attachment style, and where you see this relationship going in 2032."
Ma'am. He hasn't even ordered the calamari.
The app is simply the vehicle. You still need to know how to drive.
Before You Download Another App, Maybe Download Some Self-Awareness.
Here's a radical thought: Before you spend another six months analyzing complete strangers, how about analyzing yourself?
That's exactly why I created the McGinty Relationship Dating Profile (MRDP). Think of it as the Myers-Briggs of dating.
Just 23 questions unlock a personalized, two-page report revealing your dating archetype, how you think, how you make romantic decisions, your relationship strengths, and—here's where it gets interesting—the blind spots and dating patterns that may be sabotaging your love life without you even realizing it.
Hey, who doesn’t want 2 pages analyzing how they approach dating? You should. And talking to me about your results for 15 minutes? Lucky you!
Right now over 120 people per day are taking this assessment and getting the short version. Ok, fine. I can't talk to all of you anyway---but those serious? Grab my 15 minute time slot so you can get those valuable 2 pages that may be the answer to what ails you in your dating hunt.
Because maybe it's not the app. Maybe it's not the dating pool.
Maybe you've been changing dating apps when what really needs changing is your dating strategy.
And unlike your last three first dates, these 23 questions might actually tell you something useful.
Stop swiping blindly. Start dating strategically.
What I Actually Do (Spoiler: It Doesn't Involve a Crystal Ball)
When I work with clients, I don't pull a dating app out of a hat.
I research.
I study their local dating market, their goals, and where they're most likely to meet compatible people.
Then we look at the bigger picture: their photos, profiles, choices, conversations, and why promising connections sometimes stall.
Sometimes the answer is a different platform. Sometimes it's a completely different approach.
Because finding the right place to meet someone is only half the battle.
The other half is knowing what to do when someone interesting actually shows up.
So, Andrea, What's the Best Dating App?
I'm so glad you asked.
Again.
For the 4,782nd time.
The best dating app is the one that works for YOU.
Not your recently divorced neighbor. Not your Pilates instructor. Not your cousin who met her husband online in 2019 and now behaves like she's the chief romantic officer of the internet.
You.
That's why I approach dating as a strategy, not a guessing game.
After more than three decades in this business, I can tell you that finding love isn't about downloading every app and hoping one contains your future spouse.
It's about putting yourself in the right places, presenting yourself well, making smart decisions, and giving the right people a genuine chance.
So the next time someone asks, "Andrea, which dating app should I use?" I'm going to smile sweetly and say:
"Excellent question. I have about 37 questions for you first."
And if they insist on a 12-second answer?
"Try the one with single people."
You're welcome.
Andrea
Andrea McGinty is the founder of It's Just Lunch and 33000Dates.com, with more than 30 years of experience helping singles navigate dating, relationships, and second chances. Her philosophy? Love isn't luck. It's strategy. Her book, 2nd Acts: 166 Winning Strategies for Dating Over 50 is a bestseller on Amazon.
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